raceAthlete.com: Run

April 02, 2007

First Marathon by Josh Nickell

So it was my first marathon and ING Atlanta's also. I set a personal record!

Anyway, just to get my stats out of the way I ran it in just over 6 hours and according to my watch ran 27 miles (they changed the course to side roads after the fast guys went by). Yes I understand that 6 hours is unbelievably slow, but it was all I could muster.

I dont have any good excuses for my speed other than lack of experience and training. The most I had ever run in a race before this was a 5k. I dont think being 220 helps, but I dont have an inordinate amount of body fat, so its not a good excuse. I came in just over the time I expected. I was expecting to run 13:30 miles which I was beating until things on the course got bad (I'll explain later). I trained between 13-14:00 miles on long runs. My goal for next year is 10-11 minute miles.

So now to the review. First off I want to remind everyone that this was ING's first marathon in GA and Atlanta's first major marathon - so we have to give them some credit. The morning started off nice around 64 and the race had 15,000 to 20,000 people for the half and full combine. The half and full started off together and I started near the back of the pack, but it still took me about 10 minutes to get across the start line after the race had started.

The first 4 miles the half and full ran together - this was rather crowded, but there was plenty of room in the street. The water stations had waiting lines for the first 4 miles though, so I skipped them. I felt well prepared nutritionally and water wise. (I trained with and brought a GU pack an hour and a ran with a bottle of water that if I drank an hour I always felt good - I carried motion tabs to drop in the water at each refill) So on mile 4 I was confident skipping the first few stops because I had plenty of water and nutrition.

Then it got interesting - they were supposed to have a Powerade/water station every mile or two for the rest of the race, and at mile 4 I could go another mile or two before refilling.

I was feeling great and running a 12-13 minute mile well below my target running heart rate. With a low heart rate and the 6hr pace group running ahead of schedule I was confident in my pace. Although, I have to admit I did get frustrated with the pace group after a little while - see I had this goal I may be slow, but I AM going to run the whole way - even if its a slow run. Well, they did a run/ walk. They ran 60 seconds then walked 60 seconds and repeated which is fine, but they were a big group and by now they had already closed the big running paths and moved to smaller roads or just one lane and they kept running full speed ahead of me and then stopping as a pack and blocking everyone. They always seemed to stop right in front of me and a couple other people and forced us to keep running off road around them. To their credit some of them did finish before me so the strategy definitely works, I was just cranky about the lane blockage!

So anyway, I got to mile 5 and was just about out of water and ready to finish my bottle before a refill and did when spectators said the water station was just over the hill. We crested the hill and found signs saying water station and Powerade, but there was nothing there! So we kept running at mile 6 the same thing happened but this time we were instructed water was around the corner. Again, signs, but no liquids. At this point I started to get nervous it was already about 70 out and the average temperature this time of year is a high of 68, but today we were going to get over 80 (it turned out to be zero clouds and a record high of 86).

I knew I needed water and I was going to feel it later. Thats when the southerners really turned out to help. We were running through Druid hills (as hilly as it sounds, but well shaded) which was gorgeous with multi million dollar homes and the people who came out to watch had heard about our trials and come out with their personal cups, pitchers, and hoses. This continued through mile 14 and really made for a great first half. I was running on pace to finish in 5:40 including a 5 minute wait in line for a bathroom (I later decided bushes would suffice). The locals were hydrating and even providing salt tabs, pretzels, ice, and anything else they thought would help (life savers).

Mile 15 is where everything started to collapse. All of the sudden we were out of the trees and parks and running towards downtown on open asphalt roads with no shade and no locals! It was now over 80 degrees and people were starting to drop out. I was prepared for the heat and had been drinking plenty and staying cool so I still felt fine and continued to run under my target heart rate. Then I really started to heat up and run out of water.

I was out by mile 15 and stopped sweating by 17. I started to get frustrated and negative because I knew I needed water and it was supposed to be there, it didnt help that everyone around was reacting the same and starting to panic. I knew my wife was at mile 18 with extra supplies just in case, so I sucked it up and kept running to 18 without water. She refilled me and then a half mile later on a out and back loop we were met by Mizuno who was on both sides of the road with their water and lots of support passing it as fast as they could even pouring it on people. This was perfect timing because they were on they way back 1.5 miles later so I got as wet as I could and drank as much as I could both times and refilled my bottle.

Then feeling better though now at 85 degrees picked my pace back up - I had dropped to a 14-15 minute mile as my heart was skyrocketing in the heat and lack of water. I felt like I was getting a second wind until mile 23 at which point I was again out of water and the water stations by ING/Publix were empty just as on the first half of the course. This time though, there were no homeowners and no shade and the next 3 miles are all up hill. There were some spectators offering their water bottles or giving up water they were buying at gas stations, but it was very sparse.

I drank as much as I could find and when I found someone with a hose or ice did what I could to cool down. I had stopped sweating again, but knew I only had a few miles to go and was not about to stop running. I quit looking at my heart rate as it was into the 180s and I needed to be at 155. At this point I started to pass people, which at my slow speed is surprising. Everyone was really hurting. I saw the split times of many of the people who finished around me that had them doing 20-30 minute miles at the end, but consistently running 10-12 for the first 22. You could see the heat and water and final 3 mile hill killing people. I kept running and finished with a short .1 mile sprint through the finish and then spent the next half hour hydrating.

All in all I enjoyed the race - I expected some problems and hope they over come them next year. They never could have predicted record highs, but should not have even come close to running out of water and Powerade - I never saw one drop of Powerade on the whole course. If it were not for the nutritional information I get from all the Ironman guys I wouldn't have had a well rehearsed plan and backup plan for nutrition and hydration which is what saved me! You just cannot run out of water on a hot day at a marathon! The course could use some help too.

The first 2/3 were great, but there were some areas in the last 1/3 that just sucked. Once section a 2 mile out and back loop had no view, was just up a up hill and down a big hill and totally exposed to the sun - they should run more in the suburb area with the shade and spectators and less exposed to the elements with no view.

I'm sure they will get plenty of complaints about the water and will fix it next year and some course adjustments wouldnt surprise me. This could be a really great race and I believe ING can do it - they just have to work out the kinks.

Thanks for reading to my overly descriptive race report!
Josh

April 02, 2007 in Run | Permalink | Comments (7)

March 22, 2007

Some things to consider by Curly Su

Okay, I'm going to allow myself one more post on this and then we'll move on to the bigger and better (or at least different).

I just wanted to write down what I've been thinking about over the past couple of days, because I really think there are some things I need to remember before I run another marathon (yeah, I'm already past the 'never again' phase).

1. If you have to change your race, also change your training. I knew the LA marathon was a week later, but I didn't add another long run for no reason other than that I simply didn't want to. Another long run might not have done anything physically, but it would have helped me mentally. And physically, it just might have been what I needed to scrape those extra 9 minutes off my time.

2. Pick a race that has weather similar to that in which you've been training. The heat was hard to deal with, but it wasn't really that hot. That same weather a little bit later in the year (when I had been running regularly in similar conditions) would have been a lot easier. The temperature in LA ended up being close to 80 degrees by the marathon's end, and I hadn't run outside in anything over 40 degrees for months. How could I not expect some kind of consequence? Aside from my legs cramping, the big problem I had during the second half of the race was my heart rate; it was way too high and out of control for the 9-10min/m pace I was running. I knew I couldn't keep it up, but I didn't know how to fix it. Looking back, I think it had a lot to do with the change in climate.

3. Use the race elevation as a basis for how you train. I did that at first. The Mardi Gras Marathon is flat and I was training to run flat. But, I changed the race a month out, and I knew it was going to be running a downhill start. I totally discounted the difficulty of that and figured I'd be fine. I was cocky.

4. Go out slowly, no matter how hard it is on your legs or ego. The start of a marathon is easy. The finish? Not as easy. Keep that in mind.

5. Don't wait until you're hungry to eat. By then, it's almost too late. Of course, you have to be careful to avoid an upset stomach from eating too much, so it's definitely a fine line to balance. But, I waited until mile 18 to finally take down a Hammer Gel and by then I was already kind of done. Why did it take me so long? My stomach was rebelling...but ultimately it was fine, and I should have at least tried to get something down earlier. Let's face it. Gu's are just kind of gross, and they always will be...but you still need them.

6. Numbers don't help with the mind games. If you're feeling sluggish, do your best to ignore the splits and just keep running. It was really hard to see my mile splits go from the 7 minute to 11 minute range. Looking at the numbers afterwards though, it wasn't as bad as I thought. Yeah, I got slower, but at the time I felt like it was a lot worse than it was. Sometimes the numbers can help, but you have to know when to ignore them.

7. As far as vacation enjoyment goes, you'll have more fun if you can stay afterwards instead of get there early. Of course you want some time to acclimate before the race, but afterwards is when you'll be able to relax enough to enjoy a beer. If at all possible (Saturday races!) stay afterwards to thoroughly enjoy your new surroundings.

8. Remember why you're out there. It's not about times and splits and qualifications. Yeah, those things are part of it, but ultimately you signed up because it was something you wanted. Enjoy yourself.

So, I guess that's it for now. None of this is lightening-striking news, but just some things I thought about when falling apart during those last few miles. There isn't much point in wishing you had done things differently, but there are a lot of reasons to try to remember these things for next time...

Click HERE for more Curly Su

March 22, 2007 in Run | Permalink | Comments (1)

March 21, 2007

running partner by little miss runner pants

in all the time i've been running.. which is something like 21 months now (wow sad. i really am still the newbie!).. i've never been one to run with someone.

i mean, i've done it. and sometimes i've enjoyed it... but to be perfectly honest, i've just never really.. i dunno. needed it. i'm just a loner! i like running by myself, its kinda nice. i can clear my head out, enjoy some music and be on my merry way.

i don't need someone to run with... i'm with me! and i like it that way!

but ya know what?!?

that's a load of crap.
i mean really.

and proof of that, for me, came yesterday. in the shape of Bank Girl, and our after-work run.

Bank Girl is somewhat new to running. a lover of all things bike, Bank Girl has recently shown some interest in the sport and seems to have this idea in her head that i might be someone fun to run with.

i dunno where she got that idea from, but.. being that i'm "training for a half-marathon" this month, i need all the reasons to run i can get!

so yesterday, around 5:15pm, i met up with Bank Girl at her all too lovely home for a "slow jog". slow being a relative term as i had a definite fear that the run would consist of me sucking wind just trying to keep up.

but.. surprisingly enough... it didn't!

bank girl and i seemed to have been a perfect match. right from the get-go our pace was exact. i never once felt like she was holding back just so i could keep up, nor did i feel like she was holding me back from my regular speed-demon-esque ways.

or lack there of...*ahem*

it was actually a perfect run. we chatted, we laughed. we ran up hills, we ran down them. we stopped at crosswalks and sped through intersections...

we were little running partners. and i loved it.

on the way back to her house sometime after our turn-around, bank girl needed to slow down. and then later... she needed to stop. and to me? that was no big deal.

i could have kept going, sure. i kinda wanted to keep going just to enjoy the company and get a few more miles in... but she needed to rest, and i was fine with that.

and thats when i got to thinking...

maybe i've been giving this whole running partner thing a bad wrap. maybe i've been scared of a situation i just created in my head... maybe before, i was just too proud to say "when". too embarrassed to admit i needed a break or that i couldn't keep up. i told myself i didn't like running partners as a way to just avoid the situation completely.

to me... i never knew. i never knew it was no big deal. slowing down, speeding up.. thats part of it. that's the together part of running together... and...

that's a good thing! that's something to look forward to.

running partners might just be brilliant. running partners might put a whole new fun spin on things and... i don't know about you, but..

i could get used to that!

Read more by little miss runner pants HERE.

March 21, 2007 in Run | Permalink | Comments (1)

March 06, 2007

that felt good by little miss runner pants

i loathe running.

i really do, i hate it. i hate it in that way that every once in a while i completely love it, so i want to get better at it, but i never do get better at it, so i still just really hate it.

and i avoid it, make excuses not to do it, find reasons to put it off and just down right skip it...

i do. and i'm really good at it.

but yesterday enough was enough.

sometime during the day yesterday i made the decision to run to crossfit. i figured i'd just get it outta the way. go home, change clothes, hit the road. so i pulled on my shorts, grabbed my long sleeve-really doesn't match-but dammit i don't care-t-shirt, popped in the i-pod and started pounding the pavement.

and it was weird.

for at least the first mile, if not more, i was resigned to the fact that in a few minutes, i'll have to walk. i can't keep this up, there's no way. i'm not sure, but i think i'm going too fast... i'll definitely burn out here in a few steps..

but the thing was... i didn't.

i kept waiting for it, waiting... i'd get a little glitch in my shin, my knee would feel... i dunno. something. and i'd be sure..

and then nothing.

somewhere around HyVee i realized i was almost there. i was half-way up a somewhat unimpressive hill and had energy to spare. i was about to make it all the way with no problem....
i'd dodged all the pot-holes, hit all the green lights, passed a hot dude running the opposite direction and didn't trip and fall...

i was practically there! footloose and fancy free!

by the time i got to crossfit i was... obviously.. congratulating myself.

i was so proud. without shame, proudly announcing i ran from home and did not walk... i was excited as could be.

until... i saw the clock.

5:14pm.
i ran 3.4988 miles in.... i did some quick math and...

36 minutes.

thats a little over a 10:15 pace.

and i ran that!

and thats when i knew.

i loathe running. i hate it. i really do, but not because i'm not good at it. not because i'm slow, not even because it hurts and i'm lazy and i don't want to do it.

i hate it, in that way that i love it, because its so true. its so true.

i hate running because i can get better. everyone, anyone can get better. but there are no short-cuts. there are no easy outs, no ways to fake your way through. and there's not much in life that gut-checks you in quite the same way.

i ran that. 36 minutes, i did that. but not without work. not without a lot of work, and thats when it hit me.

running faster, being fit... these people i look at that make it look so easy, so natural...
sometimes, sure, part of it's that, but.... sometimes, ya know what?

it's not.

behind the slimmed down bodies, the rock hard abs and the toned and tanned legs are hours and weeks and months of work.

yeah sure the past few weeks have been... unsound. nutrionally. training. i've been a big fat trash heap.

but for once, and finally.. thats not the norm! thats not who i am, or how my body works... and just look at the reward.

3.4966 miles in 36 minutes. for me?? thats huge!

for once it all just kind of hit me. its not about i can't, i'm not built that way, and woe is me.

its just not. its about work. and sacrifice. and dedication. and realizing brownies and ice cream do not a meal make.

and i hate that. i hate running for proving that to me.

but ya know what? i hate it, in that way that i love it. and realizing that...

it felt pretty damn good.

Click HERE for more little miss runner pants

March 06, 2007 in Run | Permalink | Comments (0)

February 21, 2007

Freezing & Flat by Rural Girl

Freezing and flat, that is how I felt yesterday. You ever have those races when you wake up and question why you are about to do this? That was me yesterday. My husband was busy and my girls felt it would be more fun to go shopping with their grandma (can't say I blame them) so I was left on my own. That was the first hurdle. The second was the weather. Driving in the car to the event, the car thermostat read -4F. I really despise cold weather! I'm trying to psyche myself up. 'You'll know people there. By the time you start in an hour it'll probably be up to 0F.'

It worked to propel me to the starting line. Off we went. About 30 seconds into the race, I realized that I didn't start my heart rate monitor. OK, now I know I'm off. What is up with me? I tend to be very time-oriented so for me to not push the button is like not putting my socks on in the morning. I brought my husband's neckie-thingie (short for I don't know what it's really called) with the intent of pulling it up over my nose. I learned at the last race that the cold air can be hard on my upper airway. Unfortunately, the thing was too loose and would not stay up over my nose. Good lesson here; test out your equipment before race day, even if it is only a neckie-thingie. It was too cold for me. The first mile was bad. I felt wheezing and tightness in my lungs. I stopped to walk a few times in the first mile (OMG!). After I acclimated to everything, the running got much better and I settled into a good rhythm. I crossed the finish line 3rd overall for the women and 1st in my age-group. I don't know what my time was. Also another attestment to my funkness, I didn't care what my time was. I was hoping for 30 min. I'll have to wait a few days until it's posted on the website.

The craziest thing is that even though it sounded and felt like pure torture, when I was done I had a sense of satisfaction and calmness. Bullhead that I am, I knew that to back away would make me feel even worse than to muster through. Chalk it up to 'one of those days'. Am I getting wiser in my old age?!

Click HERE for more Rural Girl

February 21, 2007 in Run | Permalink | Comments (0)

December 08, 2006

The Joy of Road Racing by 70.3 For Me

I decided to test my wheels out last weekend at the Charlottesville Men's 4-Miler road race. The Men's 4-Miler lives in the shadow of the popular Charlottesville Women's 4-Miler, both of which benefit cancer research (breast cancer for the women and prostate cancer for the men).

The Men's race is a pretty low-key affair -- a couple of hundred guys out on a quiet country road in December. No big deal, just come out and run.

It was a beautiful morning for December. About 40 degrees, no breeze, sunny. After I checked in I took a very slow jog for about 10 minutes, then stretched for 10 more. By then it was time to line up. I hadn't run a road race in almost two years but all the memories came flooding back. I sized up the competition, put myself about 10 yards behind the start line, and took off with the gun.

As we galloped down the road, the field began to stretch out and I found myself running in space. The pace felt good, so I didn't worry as the lead pack stretched away from me. The half-mile mark came up -- 3:43. Faster than I expected I'd run, but the pace felt good and my breathing relaxed.

Soon some more runners came up on my shoulder looking to make a pass. They seemed to be working too hard for so early in the race, so I let them go, but tucked in behind to catch a draft for a while. The first mile came up -- 7:28.

As my little group moved through the second mile I held back a bit -- no use going too hard too early. As we approached the turn around, the leaders started passing on the return leg. I started counting to get my position. Soon the turn appeared. I clicked my watch as I rounded it -- 7:40, and 64th place.

I had a good idea of the field now and knew there were a lot of guys I could pick off if I kept my pace going. I started to run down some of them: 63, 62, 61. Two young guys passed me, and I jumped on their heels, while a fellow in a red shirt joined my pack. We started knocking off more runners: 60, 59, 58, 57.

Here's the third mile: 7:31. Concentrate on form -- quick turnover, arms straight, track narrow. Breathe deep, suck in all that O2. My group started to splinter. The two young guys and red shirt are pulling away slowly, but I'm catching some others. A final turn and I can see the finish line clock: 29:45. Dig deep, pass those guys in front 56, 55, 54.

I'm across! Watch stopped: 7:28 for the mile, 30:01 for the race. Big breaths of air. God that felt great -- when can I do it again?

Visit 70.3 for me by clicking HERE

December 08, 2006 in Run | Permalink | Comments (0)

December 07, 2006

turkey trot 2006 by little miss runner pants

Team, while we have you attention, please cast your eyes up and to the right. Do you see the raceAthlete logo?

We think that it totally rocks!

It was designed by our very own little miss runner pants who also happens to not only be a great graphic artist but a very good writer.

In fact today we are featuring both her graphic artist talent and her writing talent below:

thanksgiving for me, these past few years, has been nothing to celebrate. my parents in st. louis, grandparents in ft. worth and a job to return to on friday has meant turkey days spent alone.. either at the movie theatre or at home, curled up with a frozen pizza, with my glasses on, hair in a ponytail, and pajamas all day long.

and for the most part... thats been just fine with me.

but this year... things have changed. and although i'm unclear as to whether or not you can declare something tradition in its first year of being... i'm pretty sure i started a new one for myself. and i'm kind of excited about it.

growing up, i didn't run. ever. it was never something my family did, we didn't get together and... go run.

even just the thought of it is weird so growing up, even recently, the idea of having a "traditional race" to run in every year.... never occured to me. i don't think i even realized that was an option. in my world... they didn't exist.

but thats the funny thing about this lifestyle.. the more active you become, the more you realize there is to do. and this year's thanksgiving was no exception.

many many weeks ago, one bored afternoon, i came across the 2006 KC Turkey Trot held at the Sprint Campus and figured... ah what the hell.. its not like i'm doing anything else that day. why not? and signed up. i mentioned here on the blog that i had a 5k in the forecast, and kinda sorta even trained for it.

(not really. but lets pretend!)

thanksgiving morning, after a coffee-stop for the roommate and his EW, we met up at the start-line with 0% boy and girl, her nephews and Popcorn Man... a fellow KCM member. it was a perfect running day and i had almost completely forgotten it was thanksgiving until i saw the costumes, the crowds and the kids.

lots of kids.

thats when it occured to me... there are families out here. doing this together. on thanksgiving.

how cool is that?!

the race itself was pretty uneventful. we ran through the Sprint campus, turned left at the first mile (and water stop... why is there a 1-mile water stop in a 3 mile race? i don't get it.), went around the block, turned right to come back onto campus and finished where we started.

the race was easy. not easy... i was running with 0% and felt as though a lung might collapse (this probably goes without saying, but... she runs a slight bit faster than i. i kept up as best i could, averaging about a 10:30 pace from what i can gather... but it was rough. doable, and actually the entire time we were running i was in a state of shock at the fact that my legs were moving that fast, but... regardless...) and i was, for the first time in my life, running sans-music, which for me is almost more impressive than the PR.

(actually, i had a bit of oh bloody hell what'll i do if she wants to talk while we run?! moment early on. as most of you know, i'm a bit of a loner when it comes to running. i've never actually maintained a talk and run situation for more than a few mintues and i literally didn't know what to do.

then i remembered i dont actually have to be plugged in to get my legs moving so... it turned out alright. go figure.)

after the race 0% and crew went their seperate ways and while i roamed around in search of my ride i took some time out to stop and just watch.

there were kids of all ages, parents, and grandparents. dad's running with their daughters. mom's pushing strollers with their little one's in tow. brothers talking smack about who ran faster, stood taller, hit harder and "hey!! where'd you get that! gimme, i want one! around the donut table.

it was a family event. one that it seemed everyone enjoyed... and thats when it hit me.

i should do this. why didn't i do this before? this is fantastic... i should do this.
every year. forever. i want to be that family. i want my kids and my husband to run with me. i want this to be something we DO.

i want this tradition!!

yeah.. thanksgiving, this year, was different. instead of waking up alone i had a roommate and friend to conspire with. instead of racing alone i had 0% to run with, and instead of a movie and pizza i had a reason to celebrate and dress up, as 0%'s family graciously welcomed me into their home.

thanksgiving this year gave me something to be thankful for... and as traditions go, i can't think of a better one to look forward to.

Do you want to read more by little miss runner pants...just click HERE.

December 07, 2006 in Run | Permalink | Comments (2)

November 15, 2006

2006 Tampa Marathon by We Float

With me *still* recovering from my running injury 5 months ago, I needed to do something to snap out of the depression and funk of missing the marathon (besides the usual coke and hookers... kidding!) (Or am I...?) So I thought I'd finally put together a video of my first marathon, the 2006 Tampa Marathon back in Feb this year. My dad shot some awesome footage, especially of the start of the marathon (look for me!) -- you can feel the excitement and hysteria of 1400+ people running at the same time. I can't imagine what it's like with 40,000 runners!! I never did a race report, which I totally regret (mainly because I didn't have a blog back then). Making this video brought back a flood of good, and not so good (let's say miles 20-25), memories -- it was one of the best moments of my life. Hope you enjoy!

Random Notes: 1. I met the "Walking Backwards guy" at the pre-race dinner the night before. We were sitting at the same table and he tried to strike up a conversation. Total freak (shocking!) 2. I actually laid down on the median in the middle of Bayshore Blvd at mile 23 or so and closed my eyes for about 30 secs, until a course monitor drove up and asked me if I was alright. I said yes and got up to soldier on. I think I would've slept there for an hour if no one came. 3. They ran out of Kevlar and gave us big black garbage bags to "warm up" after finishing instead. Sweet. 4. I went back to the marathon convention hall after the race and SLEPT on the hallway floor for about an hour, *while* they were holding the awards ceremony! I was never so tired in my life. But it was a good tired! Best wishes to those running the Chicago Marathon (or other marathons) this weekend! Have fun and give it all you got. May your (running) dreams come true!

November 15, 2006 in Run | Permalink | Comments (5)

November 11, 2006

Momentum by IM Able

My Mom was an amazing woman. Most moms are, I guess, from the perspective of their family and friends. But my Mom was the exception to most rules. She lived her life on her terms and taught her daughters and husband about bravery and integrity and compassion.

Mom used to run. I don’t remember how or why the activity started, but I remember Sunday afternoons not being able to locate her in the studio or the kitchen and realizing that she was watching a football game in the basement while jogging on her treadmill. And, if you knew my mother, a classical pianist with grace and poise to spare, you would see the humor in this scene.

She would run on the treadmill on bad days and outside on good days. She taught me to count telephone poles to measure miles. She never would claim to go far or fast – she was just pleased to be able to go. To move forward and do something for herself to help bolster her health. She was never a coordinated person, or even notably physically graceful. But she was tenacious in her core, quietly relentless in her commitment to all things – her career, her family, her friends. She taught my sister and me – and I would imagine, to some extent, my father – that you keep pushing and plodding, even when the effort appears to far overshadow the results.

You just keep doing.

Keep doing, because at some point you determined that the activity was valuable. So, even though right now it’s painful or inconvenient, you just keep doing. Trust yourself. Trust the effort. Trust the process. Momentum was a tool that my mother used well.

She weathered a difficult childhood with her head bent and her eyes firmly fixed on her goals. She raised a family on the pendulous swing of momentum. She trained legions of talented pianists through the perpetual roll of lessons after lessons, year after year. She fought cancer with momentum. From surgery through recovery through remission through surgery through recovery – for 10 long years.

I guess at one point she learned that you just keep going. No matter what life throws at you.

You just keep going.

_________

I spend a lot more time nowadays relating to that momentum. Mom passed away in 1997, at the young age of 51, with her oldest making a go at life in the big city and her little baby giving her best shot at her first semester of college. There is much that cancer stole from her and me – from us. So many discussions, so many moments of learning. She never saw the adult that I am now, yet she also was spared all the pain it took to get here.

And I am often reminded of this when I run. When I jog around the neighborhood, plodding forward in my own form of momentum. In some sense, I feel connected with her. Not her as a mother or a teacher, or even a patient or someone requiring care or compassion.

But her as a woman. A young woman with hopes and dreams. A young woman who still goes out for a jog, no matter how awkward she feels in the running clothes or how ungainly her gait is in the long shadow she casts down the sidewalk. She saw her imperfect figure in the store window reflection and I’m sure she was conscious of her slower pace. But it was her time, the moments when she owned the momentum, the roll, the perceivable push from behind. Those, I’m sure, were some of the rare moments she had left over after my sister and me, my father, her students, her charities, and her friends were done taking what we needed.

I bet they were magical.

And I find similar things in those moments, where work cannot reach and all of those other obligations are obliged to wait. I feel the hand on my back, gently pushing forward – not for speed, but rather for momentum. Urging. Follow the roll. Trust the motion. Enjoy the ride.

You only get one chance.

It is in those moments, I feel connected to my mother in a way we were never allowed in life. We were never granted those glances of knowing understanding. We were never allowed to find common ground as peers, as women, as mothers, or as wives.

But occasionally, I feel as if we do connect. And I know that the hand on the small of my back, urging me forward, is hers and she is right there beside me, jogging to our slow and steady pace.

Would you like to read more from IM Able? You can find her HERE.

November 11, 2006 in Run | Permalink | Comments (0)