raceAthlete.com

Push endurance

both books

  

 

15 minutes of Fame...or is it Shame?

Have you ever wanted your 15 minutes of fame:

Now is your chance:

Who is up for the abuse?

****************************************

Greetings ~

My name is Julia Jenkins and I am a casting producer for ABC families hit reality show 'Wife Swap.

We are currently casting for our fourth season and we are looking for FAMILIES THAT PARTICIPATE IN TRIATHLONS. This has been something we have wanted to feature for 3 years and we are very interested in finding that GREAT family!

Families that appear on the show receive $20,000 as a thank you. And if you refer a family that appears on the show you would receive $1000.

If you are unfamiliar with the show, Wife Swap is a fascinating story of what happens when two married couples see themselves and their spouses in a whole new light. Time Magazine calls Wife Swap "a riveting examination of family values." The New York Post says, "It should be called 'Life Swap' because it's not just the wives who learn something here. It's the families."

The premise of Wife Swap is simple: for seven days, two wives from two different families with very different values exchange husbands, children and lives (but not bedrooms) to discover what it's like to live a different woman's life.

Here at 'Wife Swap' we look for a two-parent home with at least one child between the ages of 6 and 17 living at home fulltime.

If you are interested, please email me and tell me a little about your family and then I will be in touch. Or if you would like to refer a family, please email me their contact information and I will be in touch. Thanks!

Julia Jenkins | Associate Producer
RDF USA| 1790 Broadway| 11th Floor| New York| NY 10019
tel. + 1 646.747.7941| fax. + 1 212.586.3419
julia[email protected] - [email protected] | www.rdfusa.com

What to do with all that stuff

If you are like me and you’ve been training and racing for a couple of years, you might find that you’ve accumulated a lot of stuff. Everything from old race numbers to finisher medals to old running shoes. Which of course begs the question; what to do with all that stuff? So here are a few interesting ideas and suggestions.

Old Race Numbers

I remember reading somewhere that you should save your old race numbers, frame them in a decorative collage, and put them on the wall to have as a reminder of your glorious race days. I have a different idea. Most race numbers seem to be made of that special paper that does not tear (unless you pin it to your shirt at which point it tears immediately).

That's why I like to take my old race numbers and sew them into a quilt of shame. At night I use my quilt of shame as a reminder of all those races that I barely finished. As I snuggle under my quilt I fondly remember my past races…oh look there’s the marathon where my legs locked-up at mile 20, and I had waddle to the finish line for 6.2 miles. And look there’s the Ironman race number where I flatted 8 times. Oh here’s the half marathon that was so hot that I got tunnel vision, almost passed-out, and had to have my first IV. What a wonderful way to fall asleep.

Finisher Medals
Over the years I have accumulated a pretty large collection of finisher medals. You would think that they would be sized according to the distance of the race. You would be wrong. My largest medal is from a local 5K turkey trot I ran a few years ago in a tiny town, just next to my wife’s hometown, in the middle of Illinois. It seems that the more obscure the race, the bigger the medal. Keep this in mind next time you set your sights on the Boston Marathon. Perhaps you should be training for the annual Ogleby Turkey Trot.

I’ve always thought that all my medals would make for great wind chime. But recently I’ve had a much better idea; to start you’ll need about 10 dogs of different sizes and breeds. The medals make for great K9 bling. There is nothing more stylin’ than a hound sporting a gold and silver half marathon medal.

You’ll of course need different breeds and sizes as the medals come in different colors and sizes. For instance, you would not want to put that huge Ogleby Turkey Trot medal on a tiny toy poodle. That would look just silly. The best part of this idea is that the more races you run, the more dogs you can make over with their own doggy bling.

Running Shoes

If you are like me you probably have a closet full of old running shoes. They say that you are suppose to replace your shoes every 300 to 400 miles of running and that number keeps dropping. I’m sure Nike is working on disposable running shoes as I write this.

You could donate your old shoes to charity. There are a number of great people and agency’s that collect old running shoes and ship them to places in Africa where folks really have no shoes.

However, I have another idea. We all know that running shoes are made of super cushioning sole material. Why not put this technology to use where it is really needed…your car's bumper. Over the years the auto makers have refined the traditional car bumper to the point that if you happen to lean on a modern bumper too aggressively, you’ll either scratch or dent it.

I have great solution. Just take those old running shoes and glue them (sole out) to the most likely impact points on your bumper. Now you have a car that’s not only ready for the local mall, and any potential fender bender, but more importantly says to everyone “This driver is a serious runner!” (That is of course when he or she is not driving to the local mall to buy new running shoes.)

Cotton Race T-Shirts

With the advent of new technology like “Cool Max” breathable fibers, many of us now have drawers full of old cotton race T-shirts. If you are lucky, you may have a brother-in-law or sister-in-law that would love these old school workout clothes. Why? Because you know that nothing says I’m a hardcore weight lifter like a well-worn and properly torn cotton T-shirt.

If you are not lucky with the family connection here’s another idea. Seal-a-meal those shirts and place them in storage. Why? Because you know that 20 years from now nothing will say that I’m a hardcore old school runner like an old cotton T-shirt. Sure...they may make your nipples bleed on any run longer than 5 K, but that's just another sign that you are indeed a serious runner.

Water Bottles

Water bottles are certainly the favorite swag in any race swag bag. They come in two varieties. The soft kind you can squeeze (good) and the rock hard kind that cannot squeeze (bad). Have you ever tried drinking from one of the rock hard kind that take two hands to squeeze while running on a treadmill? Word to the wise, don’t or you could find out how fast 8 miles an hour really is when you catapult off the back of the treadmill into the glass partition wall of the nearby crowded women only aerobics class, who all stop and stare at you, as you lay half-naked, splattered with your butt tightly pressed against the glass wall. (Not that something like that has ever happened to me.)

So what to do with all those old water bottles. Here’s a simple idea; they make great cat hats. Unscrew the cap, drill two small holes in it, tie a string through both ends, and put it on your cat’s head. Magnifique les chic pussy cat. Now your cat will be stylin’ with the latest cool cat cap. After all you don’t want to make the cat feel left out since your dogs wearing all that medal doggy bling. Do you?

Post Script: No animals were hurt in the making of this story ;-) For more Everyman Triathlon click HERE.

Mailbag

We here at raceAthlete central are just a beehive of activity.  We spend the days and nights looking for the newest and  best endurance sports  stuff  for your  daily viewing/reading/listening/web surfing entertainment.

This week received three emails that we thought worth your attention...so here they are in no particular order:

1)
My name is Dave Lam and I'm currently working on a documentary about every day athletes, entitled ATHLETE. Wanted to pass along a link to the teaser trailer. I think it's a film you and your readers would be interested in.

http://www.athletemovie.com/Athlete_Alert.html

Also available here:
http://video.yahoo.com/video/play?vid=321297

Thanks,
Dave
"Defy Definition."

2)

Hi race athlete,

you have a nice web slog and community of athletes.

 

I am Reinier Fleuren and very busy developping a new website for GPS users: www.ttsm.com.

It allows people to analyse their tracks after doing a training or competition. Please look after a sample of an english female runner:

 

http://www.ttsm.com/tripview.php5?t=670&to=map

 

I hope you like it. Please email me by clicking on my name below  for your reaction. We need some testers to give opinions about our website. Then we can optimize our website.

 

Thanks in forward,

Reinier Fleuren

Trip Tracker SPORTSMATE

3)

"Triathlon For Sight"

New York City       Triathlon
Sunday July 22, 2007
www.nyctri.com

You are invited to participate in the New York City Triathlon on July 22, 2007 in benefit of the Foundation Fighting Blindness (FFB).

The urgent mission FFB is to drive the research that will provide preventions, treatments and cures for people affected by retinitis pigmentosa, macular degeneration, Usher Syndrome, and the entire spectrum of retinal degenerative diseases.

The New York City Triathlon is one of the largest triathlon events in the country, with over 3,500 athletes taking part.  The event consists of a 1500m swim in the Hudson River (the current is with you all the way!), a 40km bike on the Henry Hudson Parkway (closed to traffic during the event) and finishes with a 10km run through beautiful Central Park. The event may be done either as an individual race or as a relay team of up to three athletes per team.

As       part of this great opportunity you will receive the following, compliments       of FFB:

• A guaranteed individual or relay team         entry to the triathlon event.
         
• A free FFB t-shirt, FFB cap and FFB         wristband.
         
• Four monthly one-hour individual sessions with an experienced triathlete, who is also competing in the NYC Triathlon, during the months of April through July.  This could include a swim, bike or run session, or just a meet-up to ask questions about training, race preparation, etc.
         
• A complimentary pre-race carbo-load pasta dinner the evening before the race in New York City with your fellow FFB triathlon teammates!

In order to participate, you should raise a minimum of $1,000 for the Foundation Fighting Blindness.  Your donations will help raise funds for the Foundation and will help find preventions, treatments, and cures for those who are affected with retinal degenerative diseases.

If you are interested in participating in this fantastic       opportunity, please email Sally Mitchell by April 6, 2007 for details.  There are limited slots available, and it will be first-come first-served, so please act quickly!  Feel free to pass this onto friends who may also be interested.

Warm       Regards,

Fundraising       Committee
New York       Chapter

FYI: The New York City Triathlon is officially sold out so this is you best chance to enter the race. This offer comes in no small part exclusively from our friend Michael Stone who has been a terrific supporter of team raceAthlete.com as well as  a great triathlete for the FFB.

Send Your Triathlon Valantine eCards today

There are something like 800 billion web sites on the world wide web, but RaceAthlete is the only web site that has Triathlon Valentine eCards.

To send a Free Valentine to your special triathlete, Ironman, Irondiva, wife, husband, web savvy dog/cat or Ironsherpa just click HERE.

Happy Valentine's Day from team RaceAthlete!

Musing on the Tattoos by Sunset Cat Tri

Very few people really know who I am in LA Tri Club.

I mean, I'm fairly friendly, I always chat with people I've seen before, cheer on others in the uniform (Go LA!), help out/volunteer occasionally, etc.

I've won some pretty cool stuff (carbon fiber clip on aerobars! $250 'race rewards' check just for finishing races as a LA Tri Club member!) and, given my tendency to shriek girlishly (and loudly) in excitement, well, people have remembered me for that.

However, as a back of packer, well, as nice as everyone is, I'm definitely nowhere near the 'in-crowd' of the club.

I'm thinking that something's going to change this season.

Nope, I'm not going to become part of the in-crowd.

But I'm now going to be notorious for my tats.

There's no hiding them while wearing a LA Tri Club shimmel.

Yes, I could hide them with a dri-fit t-shirt or a bike jersey, but I run hot (I've always tolerated cold better than heat) and I wear as little as I can get away with (I happen to lack much body consciousness, even if that'd be kinder to those around me, and tend to go for comfort over misplaced modesty) -- i.e., tri shorts and a shimmel with a built-in bra.

I can't hide under the anonymity of a baseball cap (as Mel pointed out) anymore.

Everyone, after a race or two, is going to know who I am.

How's THAT for impetus to get better and faster and not be a whiny wuss????

Click HERE for more Sunset Cat Tri

Real Men of Genius Clydesdales have big....bikes

Key Music...

Bud Lite Presents: Real Men of Genius. Here's to you, mister Super-Elitist Old-School Triathlon Guy....

Background Singer: Mr. Super-Elitist Old-School Triathlon Guy!

For 24 years you've been toeing the line and throwing elbows at swim starts around the country. You hammer hard on your rusty steel Trek, passing those carbon-framed bikes with a loud "on your left" honking like a freight train outta hell..

Background Singer: On your Leeeeeefft!

Your shirt pockets look like a grocery stand - it'll be a cold day in hell when you bow down to those new-fangled cliff bars and energy drinks. Strapped into your pedals, technology means nothing to you and your bright red speedo, heart rate monitors, power meters and lactate threshold tests be damned.

Background female singers: Like that banana hammock....

Look at all those fools in their fancy new wetsuits - anything above 60 degrees is like bath water to you. Pass the safety pins - those new race number belts are for sissies. You scoff at aid stations, you let newbies struggle in transition and can't for the life of you understand why those fat, slow Clydesdale's should get a medal and you can't.

Background Singer: Loose some weight you fat ass.

And while you sit hour after hour, day after day posting comments into SlowTwich about the way things used to be and should be, slowly but surely losing every triathlon friend you ever had, crack open a cold one, 'cause we salute you...

Background Singer: Mr. Super-Elitist Old-School Triathlon Guy!

Click HERE to read more by Clydesdales have big....bikes

THE NIGHT BEFORE A TRI CHRISTMAS

Twas the night before a tri Christmas, when all through the house, Not a triathlete was stirring, not even their spouse;

 

The wet suits were hung by the chimney with care, In hopes that TriSanta soon would be there;

 

The running shoes were nestled all snug in their boxes by the beds, While visions of personal best danced in the triathletes heads;

 

And the tribike in the garage, and I in my swim cap, Had just settled down for a long winter's nap,

 

When out of transition there arose such a clatter, I sprang from the pool to see what was the matter.

 

Away to the run I flew like a flash, Tore off my clothes and threw on my lucky cycling sash.

 

The sun sparkled clear and bright and I was ready to go, All I had to do was clip in down below,

 

When, what to my wondering eyes should appear, But a super fast man in red with the speed of eight reindeer,

 

With an all carbon bike, so lively and quick, I knew in a moment it must be TriSanta; the race favorite pick.

 

More rapid than eagles on this coursers he came, And he whistled, and shouted, and called all of us by name;

 

"Now, Bolder! now, Tri Boomer! now, Will and Jay! On, Stu! on Zen! on, Iron Pol and A.J.!

 

Through the second transition now! And right through the wall! Now away! run away! run for the finish all!"

 

As empty gels that before the wild hurricane fly, We will meet at the finish, of this Holiday Tri,

 

He crossed the finish line first, and went straight to his work, And filled all of the transition bags with presents; then turned with a jerk,

 

And laying his finger on the side of his gear shift, And giving a nod, with a mighty big push his tribike did lift;

 

He stood up on his bike, to his team raceAthlete gave a whistle, And away he flew like a red triathlete missile.

 

But I heard him exclaim, ere he rode out of sight,

 

"Happy Christmas to all triathletes, and to all a good-night.

Thanks to TriSanta.com for the terrific greeting card images and to Clement Clarke Moore for the poem!

The Bank Christmas Tree by Everyman Tri

It is hard to believe that the saga of the bank Christmas Tree had a happy ending. What began as a happy holiday family tradition turned into a multi-year slow motion train wreck.

It all began at Sam’s Club about 5-years-ago when I spotted the answer to our annual holiday conundrum.

Every year our little family would go to the local hardware store and purchase a real Christmas tree. We would happily loaded it on the roof of the family truckster and bring it home with warmth in our hearts and smiles on our faces. Once home the problem immediately began. The “live” tree would slowly, but surely, start to shed those green little pine needles everywhere leaving a needle trail from car, to porch, to home.

For me one of the greatest mysteries of the Holiday season has always been just how many needles the average Christmas tree can shed and still look fresh. That number must be well into the hundreds of thousands. For every year the tree just sheds, and sheds, and sheds, while I vacuum in a futile and never-ending effort to keep the growing piles of needles at bay.

So here’s a suggestion for all of you vacuum cleaner salesmen. Next time you want to impress and prove how strong and effective your machine is at picking up dirt, just use a handful of pine needles to prove your point. Simply sprinkle the needles across a wall to wall carpet and give your vacuum a whirl at sucking them up.

I would be willing to bet that you’d be very lucky indeed to vacuum up even a dozen of the little pine needle beasts. For you see Mother Nature, through thousands of years of evolution, has created the perfect vacuum proof object. The little beasts manage to immediately work their way into the fibers of the carpet making them completely suction proof. In fact, it would not surprise me one bit if after a level 5 tornado tore through our home on Christmas eve, all they would find would be the carpeted floors with hundreds of thousands of pine needles stubbornly holding on to the carpet.

It was with this thought in my mind, that 5-years-ago I made the executive decision to purchase the stunning, pre-lit artificial 8-foot tree on displayat my local Sam’s Club…and that’s when all the trouble began.

The two boxes the tree came in were huge. So huge that it took two additional Sam’s Club associates to get in my car. And if you’ve ever been to Sam’s you must already realize how difficult this was, as just finding one associate at Sam’s who is under 80-years-old AND able to lift a an 8-foot Christmas tree is a Herculean task.

When I got home I huffed, puffed, and dragged the tree boxes from the family truckster and into our living room, opened the box, and realized why it had taken three of us to budge it. I had mistakenly purchased the 14-foot version of the tree which my wife immediately named the “Bank Tree” as it was indeed so gigantic as to only really belong in the lobby of a bank.

But now there was no way I was going to return this beast. It had become a point of pride, plus I could never get the thing back in the car.

“Yes dear, I really meant to purchase such a big tree,” I lied. “What a great way to celebrate the holidays,” I told her with a somewhat shy smile.

“But it won’t fit in our house!” she protested.

“Don’t worry dear,” I added. “We can set it up in the formal living room just in front of the big window.”

She looked at me with grave suspicion, but in the end she relented and the bank tree was now the official family Christmas tree. I should have trusted her judgment. Getting the bank tree home was just the start of our troubles.

To begin with, every year I need a small diesel crane to set-up the tree. It was so massive and so unwieldy that it took a neighborhood effort to construct it. Worse yet, just to be able to put ornaments on the upper half of the tree, I would have to set-up a network of ropes and pulleys that would make the set designer at Cirque du Soleil proud.

When plugged in, the tree did indeed sparkle with thousands of bright twinkle lights as advertised, but it also drew so much power that I could slice a side of beef on my spinning electricity meter.

In fact, putting up and taking down of the bank tree became such a massive task that we quickly realized that it was almost impossible to enjoy the holidays. So a few years ago I decided to completely eliminate the very bottom most section of the bank tree.

The tree came in 5 parts (A B C D and E) that fit on top of each other with section “E” (the bottom layer) being the biggest and most unwieldy. In a stroke of what I though was brilliance at the time, I suggested that we leave section “E” in the basement and thus eliminate about three feet of the bank tree.

This seemed to work well, but it did leave the tree a bit wobbly. However I wasn’t worried as I was over-the-moon with my simple yet brilliant simple solution.

Then came Bloody Tuesday or was it Wednesday as it will forever be known in our home? It happened around midnight, when we woke up to the sound of a thunderous crash followed by the gentle tinkle if breaking glass. We ran out of the bedroom to discover that the bank tree had toppled over, and crashed into the front window taking dozens of my wife’s most prized European crystal Christmas ornaments with it.

Did I forget to mention that my wife only collects only one thing…Christmas ornaments?

But still with unholy pride I clung on to the bank tree. From that year on I secured it with invisible fishing line to various anchor points like the stairway banister, around the room. This had two effects:

1) The fishing line was all but invisible making it look as if the tree stood tall and proud all on its own.
2) Almost decapitated the family dog as the fishing line was all but invisible.

So it was with both relief and trepidation that I watched as the friendly Mexican family took away the bank tree this summer. You see I had been cleaning out the basement (after about 10 years of not so gentle prodding from my wife) when the Mexican worker cutting my neighbors grass saw the growing pile of basement stuff on my own lawn.

I had planned on taking the huge pile of 20-plus years of accumulating stuff to Good Will, but the look in his eye gave me an idea for a win win outcome to the day’s work that would have him doing the last part of my work.

“Cómo es usted,” I said,  which means ( as I'm sure you know) "how are you?"…and happens to be all of the Spanish I know.

“Muy bien,”  he replied.

“Do you want any of this,” I asked, and spread out my arms like Moses as if to indicate that all this stuff could be his for the taking.

“Yes,” he said in English with a warm smile. “Let me call me cousin who has a pick-up truck and we’ll take it all señor.”

What I had failed to notice during this transaction was that I had also pulled out the bank tree to get at more stuff in the basement, and now it was part of the general pile.

So it was indeed with both relief and trepidation that I watched as the growing squad of Mexican cousins came and took away a giant pile of twenty years of accumulated stuff, and one gigantic bank Christmas tree.

I just hope that in their wise and sharing nature they realize that the bank tree is just way too big for one family. Perhaps they will split it into parts (A, B, C D and E) as I tried to do) thus giving 5 families the chance to celebrate Christmas in the glowing light of a somewhat short and stocky bank Christmas shrub.

Feliz Navidad

Click HERE for more Everyman Tri.