EveryMan "Gotta Have" Latte Rating Scale:
Rating Scale (based on the amount of lattes per day you'll give up to buy this product)
4 Lattes: A must have product that will make your friend's jealous and your competitors cower in undisguised fear and trepidation
3 Lattes: A very good investment in well worth forgoing a year or two of your children's college fund
2 Lattes: One of those products that actually does what it says it does, but with the same pizazz as a Q-Tip
1 Latte: The best thing said about this product is that I wouldn't send it back if I got it for free
No Latte: So excruciatingly lame that you would get more value by crossing the street for some discarded and well chewed gum before buying this product
I like to think of myself as being on the cutting edge of technology.
I think that companies would consider me an early adapter.
That is a consumer who tries new technology before it becomes mainstream.
I was one of the first people to own a Mac. In fact I still have that original Mac which I recall upgrading from 128 K of memory to a whopping 512 K...making it what was referred to back in the day as a "Fat Mac"
My first car was Honda Civic CVCC. In fact it was the first Civic to be imported into the United States back when it was the cheapest and smallest new car that could be purchased in America.
I owned one of the first Startac Motorola cell phones along with the first generation iPod and Sony Walkman back in the day.
I also have a basement full or now dusty new technology that never fulfilled the marketing promises such as a moldy box of first generation Sony Beta records and Cameras, and Rio digital music players.
So I think I can safely say that I have a reasonable grasp of new technology that works, and more importantly that does not work.
Here's a short list of my current best and worst technology innovations over the last several years:
Apple iPhone: 4 Lattes
The new Apple iPhone is amazing in its simplicity. For instance I've owned smart phones, Blackberries and regular mobile phones that have always had the ability to assign ring tones and images to contacts in the address book. In other words, the phone plays and displays a different song and photo depending on who is calling.
This can be handy as you know who is calling without even having to look at the phone. Is it work, or is it my son? Good to know before you answer the phone.
However all of phones might as well not had this ability because assigning a ring tone and photo to a contact was akin to building the Eiffel Tower from scratch using a French assembly manual. Seven levels of menus into my T-Mobile Dash Smart Phone and I was no closer to getting my son's picture assigned to him in the phone, than when I first pressed the start menu.
And don't even think about trying to bring up a web page on a so called smart phone. You could have a super blazing fast WI-FI connection, but the end user experience is like looking at the moon through a 1970's Chinese pair of disposable binoculars.
The iPhone makes all of this and much more so simple that my mom
could do it. And believe me that's saying a lot as my mom does not even
know how to check her voice mail.
All other mobile phones I've owned: 1 Latte
OK maybe that's not fair as all other mobile phones can be used to make and receive calls, send text messages, and if you happen to have a Blackberry you can also check your email. But all the rest of the stuff that the other phones say they do including syncing with your computer they really don't do...unless you happen to be a tech geek or have an IT department at your disposal.
Tivo: 4 Lattes
The great thing about a Tivo is that it records the programs you like and want to watch, and doesn't allow you to easily delete those programs by accident.
Motorola/Comcast DVR: No Latte
I don't believe that in all of modern times has their been such a complete hunk of stinking crap used by so many people. I have now owned four generation of this steaming pile of you know what, and amazingly they just keep making it worse.
The myriad of menus and sub menus and sub sub menus would confound the launch control experts at NASA. The remote control has about 14 sets of arrows that point in four directions that do what exactly??
But worst of all the machine has an innate, I would say almost spooky ability, to stop recording or freeze-up during the best parts of any show I happen to be watching. The remote regularly stops working only to execute the 300 or so commands I pushed in frustration when it died in span of two seconds or less. These usually include deleting the finally of Idol, or the Super bowl, or the Academy Awards.
If want to make an easy case for the regulation and the breaking up of the cable company monopoly, you need not look any further than the box by your television. Because I cannot fathom how any for profit company could in good conscious sell such a complete and utter load of crap and stay in business.
Cat Eye Wireless Bike Computer: 1 Latte
I have yet to stumble upon a bike computer that actually works. Sure they will eventually tell you your speed, distance, cadence, time, and perhaps even power but.....
Dear God in heaven they require a PhD is mechanical engineering to install and calibrate and a PhD in electrical engineering to operate. And don't even think about trying to reset the bloody thing.
With today's modern electronics, GPS and iPhone engineers would it not be possible to build one that just attaches to your bike and works out of the box with simple displays for speed, distance, time and perhaps cadence, and only one freaking big red button that says "reset"?
Toyota Satellite Navigation Systems: 2 Lattes
Sure they cost anywhere from $500 to $2000 dollars and can certainly display all of the Greek restaurants in Boston, but can they be programed to get you to your hotel late at night after an all day conference and heavy business dinner without a 12 week learning annex course in the computer engineering.
I don't think so.
Unfortunately the same can now be said for the modern car driver computer inter phase. Now that most of us reading this can use either use a PC or Mac why is it that each car company is designing their own car/computer inter phase?
Most modern cars have or will soon have computer display screens that will control all of the cars functions like heating, and cooling, or satellite navigation. Yet without a doubt all of these make something that used to be simple...complicated.
What used to take a second, like turning the knob to increase the heat or volume, now is buried under the dozens of sub menus. And just like the cell phone ring tone, you can now calibrate the spring rate of the right driver's side shock absorber, but you'll need to learn German and/or Japanese while taking that navigation systems course at the learning annex.
Editor's Note:
Do you have a new bike, running shoe, watch, GPS or any other fun and fancy product that you have reviewed or want to review?
I'm looking for great writers and podcasters that want to have their reviews featured here.
The best writers will get free schwag to review for this web site and for their own blog from our sponsors. The stuff will be yours to keep after you review it.
For instance, right now I have a brand new electronic device that lets you watch TV anywhere on your laptop or Mobile Phone that I need somebody to review (value $200),
But before I can send you the new HAVA platinum HD to review I need to see a sample of your skills.
If you would like to contribute your wisdom and/or your writing please send me an email with a sample review that you have done in the past.
You can email me at romanmicaatgmail.com or click HERE for my email link.
I'll email you the EverymanTri.com review guidelines. Please note that the best submitted reviews will be featured on this website plus the best reviewers(writers) have the chance to review and keep a plethora of new gear that I will supply.