EverymanTri.com

Michael Lovato on what it takes to win an Ironman

Have you ever wondered which suffer more, professionals or age groupers during a long race like a marathon or Ironman? In other words, what's harder on a pure personal level, to win a race and do it in a short amount of time, or to be on the race course the full 17 hours of an Ironman.

It is a question I recently had the chance to ask Michael Lovato, who just won Ironman Arizona. I think you’ll be surprised by the answer.

I recently sat down with Michael and we had a chance to discuss his recent Ironman win. I think you’ll be interested in knowing what goes through a top athletes head as he competes and wins one of the most grueling of all endurance sport races.

So take a moment to listen to this interview and pay a visit to Michael's web site by clicking HERE.

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My first and only Endurance Sport Invention

All I remember is the mind numbing tedium and the relentless boredom as I swam staring at the same tree with every breath I took.

Stroke, breath, tree…stroke, breath, tree…stroke, breath damn bloody tree. When will I ever get past this freaking, gnarly, piss ant, God awful tree?

It started, as these crazy things usually do, in the hot tub after a late night masters swim class.

I was just relaxing and chatting with a friend when he suggested that I should go swim the Horsetooth 10 K Open Water Swim. Now that’s a long swim title, but the part that I didn’t seem to register at the moment was the 10 K bit. In other words, this race was 10 kilometers or about 6.2 miles long for us Yanks.

My friend had swum the race the year before and he described it as a sort of nice and easy leisurely walk in a sun-baked park. “Each swimmer, of course, gets their own paddler,” he went on say. “And your paddler makes sure you are OK and carries your food.” He described in bucolic details the wonders of sipping green tea as he swam across the entire length of Horseshoe Reservoir on a warm Sunday morning.

The hot tub had just lulled me into a warm and happy and totally stupid place. So I went home, jumped online, and signed-up for my first and only 10 K swim.

I knew I was in some serious trouble the night before the swim at the mandatory pre race pasta dinner. Don’t get me wrong the organizers were great and the pasta was fine, it was the race program that scared the hell out of me. It had all of the swimmers and their paddlers listed. I went down the list of swimmers one by one, and my mouth just dropped open like some stunned bass.

These were not serious swimmers. These were uber, mega, super-duper, really, really, serious swimmers. The program listed all the racers former accomplishments like “Double Channel Swim” Do you know what a double Channel Swim is? I bet you can guess. I did and to my absolute horror I guessed right.

I know I guessed right because they introduced all of us and in graphic and terrifying details listed all of our accomplishments.

Just so we are perfectly clear, a double Channel Swim is when you decided to swim the English Channel (which I believe is about 13-miles long at the point that most folks swim it) and you swim the 20-miles (the actual swim distance is more like 20-miles because of the strong currents) to get from England to France.

And you drag yourself out of the cold and murky waters on a cold beach in France, after hours and hours of swimming, and you say to yourself something like, “Self, have you seen the price of train ticket through the Chunnel to get back to England?” And so you turn around, jump back into the cold and murky water, and swim all the way back to jolly old England.

If you’ve done this…which some of the swimmers actually had, you are certainly ready for tomorrow’s 10 K swim.

I, on the other hand, just sunk deeper into my chair when they announced my previous swim accomplishment. The great feat of swim strength that I had accomplished prior to this fateful day was to swim a grand total of 2.4 miles (or the length of an Ironman swim) the year before.

Oh and did I mention that I had done this great feat of swimming in a wetsuit. And did I also forget to mention that the 10 K swim was an official masters sanctioned race, which meant that Open Water swim rules apply.

Which means, and I’m sure I forgot to mention this, that wetsuits are strictly forbidden. However you can grease yourself up like some old black and white movie of a swimmer from the 1920’s. Why and what the grease is supposed to do remains a complete mystery to me to this day. The only greasing that I actually saw on race day was with modern suntan lotion.

Anyway, needless to say, my 2.4-mile great feat of swimming strength was like a falling into a pool and swimming to the other side for the double Channel swim boys.

On the other hand, I was now terrified out of my mind. The only thing that gave me comfort was my great new swim invention. You will recall that all this started with the promise of green tea in a hot tub.

My friend had informed me that you were allowed to drink and eat during the swim, but under no circumstances (remember the open water swim rules) could you touch the support boat or lake bottom. Knowing this I had invented what I called my LDSND (Long Distance Swim Nutrition Device).

It consisted of a bottle of ice tea (not green as I’m not such a big fan) and a bottle of Gatorade, duct taped to a swim pull buoy. To this great invention I tied a long rope. The idea being that when I need sustenance my support paddler would throw me the LDSND, and I would happily drink, and he could use the rope to pull the LDSND back to the boat.

As John Steinback noted, the best-laid plans of mice and men often go awry…especially if they have never tried their invention before the race.

So like 10 minutes into the swim, I stop and ask my paddler guy to throw me the LDSND, which he dutifully does. I unscrew the ice tea cap and begin to a) drink and b) immediately sink. In a blur of hand motion I stop myself from sinking and at the same time let go of the ice tea bottle cap.

Now I have three choices. I can drink all 24-ounces of the ice tea, or drink 24-ounce of lake water at the next nutrition stop, or I can try to drink 24-ounces of lake water at the next stop and potentially drown.

You want to know what I did? You’ll have to come back tomorrow for the rest of the story.

Working with a Champion

I used to work with a champion. I just didn’t know she was a champion. Instead of spending her lunch break eating the usual cheesy pizza or greasy burger she would go for a run.

She did this almost everyday. One day I finally asked her how far she ran over her lunch break. I should have had a clue that something was up when she said she ran 10 K, and she still had time to change and be back at work before the rest of us got back from the local greasy spoon.

I don’t work with her anymore but Diane Gentry is still a champion. Every year she runs the Bolder Boulder and finishes in the top 5 female finishers. In fact, in 1997 she won the women’s citizen’s race with a time of 34.59.

For those of you not familiar with the Bolder Boulder please allow me to explain. The race is one of the biggest 10 K races in the world with between 40 and 50-thousand people running it each year. Among the runners are the top professional athletes from around the world. Pros from the elite running countries like Kenya, Ethiopia, Japan and Eastern Europe, along with the best from the United States, all compete in this very prestigious race.

Almost every year Diane is battling for the win. Last year at the age of 43 she came in second overall in the women’s race with a time of 35.51. That means in the last ten years she barely slowed down one minute. I could easily imagine that the under one minute time difference (over 10 kilometers) could easily be due to weather conditions such as wind or heat.

It completely blows my mind that at the age of 43 she is running a 35 minute 10 kilometer-rolling race at altitude. That means that she is running mid 5-minute miles for the entire 6.2 miles of the race.

Let me just try to put that into perspective for you. I suspect that if most of us were to go out to our neatest track and sprint around that track as fast as possible, we would not be able to sprint for one lap at the pace she runs the entire 10 kilometers.

Don’t believe me? Go try it yourself.

Next time you are running, find a local track and sprint around it once. To keep up with Diane you have to do it under 1.30. If you are very good you just might be able to make that 1:30 split. If you do make it, try to maintain that same pace four times around. If you can do that you will be running a 6:00 minute mile, or about 20 seconds slower than Diane is running her average mile on race day.

I’ve tried this and the very best I have ever done is match her pace for one lap. After which I turned blue, heaved up my lungs, fell over from oxygen deprivation, and immediately checked myself into the nearest Hospital level 1 ICU.

What makes this even more amazing is just how hard it is to break the 35-minute 10-kilometer mark. I remember when I started running the Boulder Bolder I just wanted to break the 1 hour mark.

After a few years of trying I got my time down to 55-minutes. Now I’m close to breaking the 50-minute goal, and I think that with some more work and a much better diet I could break 45-minutes.

But that’s the really easy bit. It is not all that difficult to go from a 1-hour race time to 45-minutes. You basically need to trim the fat and increase your strength and speed. This is just a matter of hard work and smart training.

But that’s not the case when you are knocking at the door of a 40-minute 10 K time. To go from 40-minutes to 35-minutes is a world of difference. To begin with you are already very fit and trim just to be able to run a 40-minute race. There is no fat to lose or corners to cut.

You have to put in the time and do the very very hard work. And after you’ve put in the time and done the hard work maybe you’ll speed up another minute or two. It becomes a question of diminishing returns. You can train more, but you won’t necessarily get much faster. You can spend more time in the gym,and on the track, but you may not be able to crack the winning time.

I believe it’s that last tenth of a tenth of a tenth that separates us mere mortals from the champions. Those last few seconds are the ones that determine if you finish first, fifteenth, or five hundredth. These last ticks of the clock are the mark of the true champions.

Ask yourself this question. When was the last time that you raced and you really clawed and fought for every single second? That’s what champions do every single race they run.

To put it a different way (a more personal and meaningful way for me) last year Diane finished the race second in the women’s citizen field. She was only beaten by 20 seconds for the overall title.

I, on the other hand, ran the race in just over 52 minutes. There were over 2000 women that ran faster than I did, but only one of them ran faster then Diane. The women who ran faster then Diane was a full 12-years younger and should have technically run as a professional, and not a citizen. She happened to be training in Boulder and decided to enter the race as a citizen, and not as the professional runner that she is. Apparently the rules allow this.

This was not the first time that Diane was beat by a pro. When I asked her about this a few years ago she just said that’s just how it is, and all she can do is run her own race.

Now that’s how a true champion faces a tough loss. Oh yes, and she also added that she was just biding her time and waiting until she old enough to run in the master’s category.

Come to think of it, I’ll try to use that same strategy. If I can run a 52-minute 10 K at the age of 80….I might just crack the top 10 women’s field.

The Ten Milestones of a Century Ride

What do you consider a long bike ride? I would say that anything over 50 miles is long, but many cyclists would consider any distance over a century ride (100 miles long). With that in mind, here are the ten milestones of a century bike ride.

Stage One: Anticipation and Preparation
A yes, the call of the open road beckons. The night before you go to bed a bit giddy. What adventures will the next day bring? Which team Jersey will you wear? It has to say "I know what I’m doing," but not shout "I’m a poser who wears yellow because I saw Lance wearing it."

For the ladies the decision is a much harder one. Not only must you color coordinate your cycling outfit, but you also must decide which shorts make your butt look smaller, and muscular, and curvaceous, and hot…all at the same time.

Stage Two: Load, Aim and Pull
You are at the start and it is way too late to back out now. Time to pull the trigger. There are hundreds of others on this Century Ride with you. So what’s the big deal anyway? It’s only 100 miles, or 160 Kilometers, or about the distance that you drive to work and back 10 times over. No big whoop!

After all you did put in the training when you biked around the neighborhood for a total of something like 10-miles after work over the last two months. How hard can 100 miles really be on your new Chinese made Exaggerator ZX-300 Crossfire Trekelo 1000 and 1?

Stage Three: Mile 20
You’ve made it to the first aid station and you feel great. The first hour was terrific. You rode like Lance, even without the help of those wimpy “teammates”. Now you get the savor a nice snack. Perhaps some chocolates chip cookies and warm orange juice. This is going to be a cakewalk. Besides you look great in your 1997 U.S. Postal team Jersey.

Stage Four: Bug Bite
Some how a nasty black biting bug got under your Jersey. Perhaps it was that old school mesh fabric, or that swarm of flying ants you just rode through. Now this critter is going to town on the soft fleshy part of your belly. All of a sudden you complete forget how to pop out of your clips as you furiously beat at your belly. In desperation you almost tear off your jersey as the bug gives you a farewell nip and flies away.

You come to a complete stop and promptly fall over like a fresh-cut tree. Lucky only your pride and belly are bruised, as literally hundreds of people stop and ask if you are OK.

Stage Five: The Mysterious Noise
You mount your trusty Trekelo 1000 and 1 and start to peddle. You notice a mysterious noise coming from somewhere from the bowels of the bike. It seems to only happen when you peddle, or is it only when you shift, or is it only when you brake, or it is only when you don’t peddle, or it only when you climb, or is it only when you coast down the hill? It’s sort of a clicking banging, rubbing, ticking, scraping, swooshing sound. The only thing that you know for sure is that it only gets worse, the harder you listen.

Stage Six: Dry Mouth
You’ve made it halfway and the lush countryside around you seems to have suddenly turned into the Gobi Desert. At least that’s what your mouth is telling you. No matter how much tropical-rainforest-melon-aide you drink your mouth remains bone dry. This seems especially ironic as just minutes ago your nose ran with the intensity of 1000 Niagara Falls.

Stage Seven: Mirage
It’s hard to believe but you made it to the finish. There’s the finish line just a few feet ahead. You are a Centuryman! But wait! You remove your sunglasses and stare at the finish line. It turns out just to be railroad crossing with an optimistic sign that a happy 3rd grader created which reads, “Keep Going only 40 miles to Go”

You wonder if the other cyclist around you actually heard that scream, or if it was just something in your head.

Stage Eight: Death March
You now watch with a sort of happy-do-lucky sadomasochism as the miles slowly, and I do mean slowly, and when I say slowly I mean like a snail on a Sunday crawl slowly, click by. Mile 59………mile 59 and a quarter……mile 59 and a half…..mile 59.58. You now live for the aide stations. If you can only make it to the next one, you’ll be happy.

Stage Nine: Monkey Everything
Your legs are beyond lead. Your butt stopped itching and burning long ago. Your hands and your neck have turned to mush. Your head is always down. There could be a horny rhino charging down the road with the look of love in its eyes and you wouldn’t see it until it mounted you. And even then you would just let it do its business, share a cigarette, and keep peddling.

All you see now is the slow, inevitable revolutions of your feet as they forever propel you down the road. Bug bites, dry mouth, mirages, death march, all seems like a long lifetime ago as you just keep the feet moving one rotation at a time.

Stage Ten: The Setting Sun
Just as the sun kisses the earth, you roll across the finish line. You stop for the last time and dismount your bike. Your legs don’t work too well when it comes to that once familiar walking motion.

But you’ve done it. You’ve ridden 100 miles in one day. You are a Centuryman! A smile temporarily cross your sweat and salt stained mouth…that is until you realize that you still have another 5 miles to ride back home because your wife is still at her mother’s with the kids.

Are you a Consumerman?

The grueling Consumerman triathlon consists of visiting three different stores and purchasing as much stuff as possible for as much money as possible.

The classic Consumerman distance begins with the swim shop. This is the shortest, but for many Newbie consumerthletes the most difficult leg of the Consumerman as you must purchase a swimsuit that actually fits and looks good. This can be an especially hard part of the Consumerman for female consumerthletes as they struggle through the transition in the changing room from one ill-fitting swimsuit to the next.

Often times a coach, or even a good friend, can be a great mentor to get you mentally ready for this challenging segment of the race. If you are women, you’ll need to decide early if you want a bikini or one-piece swimsuit. I’ve seen many a seasoned consumerthlete turn to mush at this point and have to DNF before ever leaving the T1 changing room.

Men must grapple with the same difficult race course naturally, but they have to choose between a traditional or jammer style suit. Many pros just go for the European Speedo style brief. They hopefully have the strong metal training to be able to wear this style without fear of exposing any hairy and or dangly bits.

Once a proper Consumerman swimsuit is chosen, the consumerthletes must navigate their way through a plethora of small but vital purchases. These include the type and style of goggle, shower shoe, ear and nose plugs, various swim toy options, and the last, but certainly not least, the important choice of hair conditioner. These may seem like an easy last decision, but if you swim a lot and you normally have dry hair, do you need hair conditioner for dry or normal hair? You may want to think about this one for a while.

After the grueling swim shop leg, the bike store part of the Consumerman may see like an easy and almost fun part of the race. But this is where years of training and building up your credit report really pays. Actually the consumerthlete pays, and pays big. If you’ve done your training right your wallet should be built up to elephant-choking size. And you’ll need it to be able to compete at the highest levels.

Not only is the typical Consumerman bike very expensive, but you’ll need to have the right wheels, the right water bottle holders, the right brakes, the right handle bars, the right shoes, the right sunglasses, the right helmet, and if you are really good, the right colors and the right graphics. And that’s just the bike.

The bike shop leg of the Consumerman can really test the consumerthletes shopping skills. They say the devils in the details and there are literally hundreds of details that need to be purchased in the bike shop.

Most Newbies tend to way underestimate the really technical nature of this part of the race. Did you remember to purchase the chain cleaning kit, the spare tires and tubes, the multi-tool hex wrench, the proper gloves for summer and winter? How about arm and head warmers and shoes booties? Oh and after you have all of that gear, for God's Sake DO NOT forget to pick-up an issue of Cycling, Inside Triathlon and Triathlete. The list is never ending.

In the classic Consumerman it is often the case that this leg of the race determines the ultimate winner and loser.

The second transition of the Consumerman is almost always determined by your personal fitness level. Before heading to the last, and often times the most technical part of the race, many consumerthletes forget to take on nutrition, or worse yet take on the wrong nutrition in T2.

For instance a common Newbie mistake is to go to McDonalds’s before heading to the third part of the race; the running store. While McDonalds’s may provide you with the calories to finish the race, it also tends to fill you up and make you slow and sleepy and lethargically.

That’s why the professional consumerthletes will purchase their gels and protein powders at the bike store. Here’s a pro trick you may want to keep in mind during your next race; bring along several bottles of water and mix the endurance shake in the car on the way to the running store. This way you’ll save lots of time, and you’ll get to the store all fueled up and ready to take on the treadmill.

If you can’t do this because it may be a bit tricky, as you’ll have to drive and mix at the same time, at least use the drive-up lane at McDonalds’s to save a few valuable seconds.

The final leg of the race at the running shop may seem straightforward, as it does not require huge amounts of cash, but this too can be deceptive. In fact in many of the past Consumerman races, it was this part of the race that sort out the ultimate winners and losers.

You may think that it only requires buying running shoes but wait until you get on the treadmill. Do you suffer from Pronation or Supination? You may have never even heard of these hideous running deformities, but once the sales clerk has you on the treadmill with the video camera running, you’ll be amazed at the amount of cash you’ll spend on running shoes to correct this hitherto completely unknown but potentially race-ending deformity.

One hundred and fifty dollars for the top of the line Nikes will seem cheap compared to expensive re-constructive lower leg surgery caused by this problem.

And now that you’ve spent so much on running shoes, what’s the big whoop of spending another $300 on the GPS watch, and $90 on a set of just walking around shoes, and $30 on the newest Crocs, and another $200 on a proper running outfit. And once again, for God’s Sake, don’t forget to spend your last $8 on the Body Glide.

So are you a Consumerman? Do you really have what it takes to compete in this the most grueling of all triathlons?

Wind and Pain

Today I went on a recovery ride with my Boulder buddy Bolder. How's that for the best use of alliteration in a blog in 2006? Please be so kind as to submit this post to The Bloggies?

What is that you say there is no such thing as The Bloggies. Damn!

Anyway we rode a basic square route of about 37 miles and guess what? We had @*# ing headwind hurricane the entire @*# ing way. And when I say hurricane, I don’t mean one of those little bitsy baby category 1 no names. This wind was Katrina on steroids with PMS, after she just found out that her man was cheating on her with hurricane Wilma.

Have I mentioned the fact that I hate the wind?

I hate the wind with the deep passion, loathing and hate that only a Southern evangelical preacher can feel for the boys at a New York all gay, chaps and only chaps-wearing, mustache-sprouting, chain smoking biker bar.

Have I mentioned that I really don’t like riding in the wind?

The only good news, if you could call it that, was that after grinding for about two hours at something like 6 mph into this hurricane, my teeth stopped hurting. Come to think of it they really didn’t stop hurting as much as the pain in my legs, and the deafening roar in my ears finally overshadowed the throbbing of my jaw from just having had two wisdom teeth pulled.

Of course this numbing relief came only after the wind had spent two hours swooshing around my mouth, sending razor like jolts up my exposed nerve endings through the gapping holes in the back of my jaw.

Did I mention that I really hate to ride in the wind?

Now some of you may think that I am exaggerating a wee bit. You would be wrong.

I just checked with the nation Weather service and they recorded wind gusts today at over 50 mph. And they should know, as they are located on a big hill about 5 miles from my house.

OK so 50 mph may not be hurricane force winds, but here’s a little experiment you may want to try next time you have a free weekend. Get a trailer and hitch it to your car. Now set-up your trainer on the trailer, put your bike on the trainer, and set the tension to 11, if the highest tension setting is 10.

Now comes the fun part. Get on your bike and have your friend head to the nearest freeway and head out of town at say 55 mph for the three hours, while you spin on the bike on the trailer.

When you’ve done this, please be so kind as to report back to me as to what position on the bike you found the most comfortable after say two hours.

Did you enjoy the hand on your chest pushing you backwards really hard classic biking stance? Or did you prefer the head down, bees bouncing off your cheeks and/or getting stuck in your helmet aero position? Or perhaps you really liked the hands on the down tubes, wind roaring in your ears while pushing you really hard sideways classic racer position?

Did I mention that I don’t like riding in the wind?

And you the second best part of the day was when the semi trailers came roaring by just a few feet away from me. The difference in air velocity between the truck and the wind was so great that had I been any lighter, I would have actually spun around like a little boys top after an especially fast tug on the rope.

The best part of the day came when I got home and my wife scolded me for saying I was going on a short bike ride and returning three hours later. "Of course I should have called honey", but unless I jumped into a deep ditch she wouldn’t heard a word I was saying above the blasting cacophony made by the wind.

Are you starting to get the clue that I really hate the @*# ing wind?

In conclusion, all I can say is that I sincerely hope that the when you next ride; may the wind always be at your back, and not in your face, or in your butt.

Hey, that's not bad. You may want to submit that to the 2006 Bloggies for the best use of flatulence in a sentence about bad breathless bad ass biking in Boulder with Bolder in Boulder.

Swim Drills vs. Swim Volume

Do you want to swim faster. Mike Ricci the head coach of D3 Multisport. can make it happen. Mike has been coaching winning triathletes for most of his life. He is both USA Cycling and USAT certified.

He help his athletes get the most out of their available training time. He does not believe in "junk" mileage or useless workouts. Instead, he utilizes the most current research and training techniques and combine them with race proven strategies to create the best possible training programs for his athletes.

When it all goes terribly wrong

The date was June 13 2004. I’ll never forget this day, as it was my first half Iron distance race. The race was called the Colorado Triathlon. It is now thankfully defunct.

I was about 30 pounds overweight, or as I like to think of myself, right in the prime of the Clydesdale group. I was big-boned in an endurance athlete sort of way. I was packing plenty of self-nutrition. I had my own built in floatation device…my stomach.

I should have known I was heading for trouble earlier in the year. It was just a few weeks before the big race, and I was doing a practice swim in the soon-to-be race lake, when a suspicious object floated by my face.

Normally I don’t notice these things but I was a bit edgy as I was swimming in new place with questionable water quality. This object looked vaguely familiar. It was round, long and dark brown. It reminded me of something but my mind didn’t want to place it. My mind steadfastly refused to identify this mysterious object.

“Could it be a Snickers,” I thought to myself as my brain flashed back to that famous seen in Caddy Shack?

It wasn’t until I looked up and saw that I was swimming by the doggy beach that I final put two and two together.

By the way, what kind of deranged dog poops in the water anyway? And how the heck does it cover up the dirty deed? Does it drop the S bomb in the water and start kicking furiously at the water with its hind legs trying to bury the floater?

And what kind of dog owner just stands around and watches his or her dog squat in the water with its back legs trembling as it squeezes out one Snickers after another? A big old, “Thanks” to who ever you are, for now I have that image forever burned into my brain.

I should have taken this incident as a sign from God, for you know God is just Dog spelled backwards. He was telling me to drop out of the race.

Or perhaps I should have dropped out when I learned that the bike course was changed at the last minute. What started out as a pretty reasonable course was shortened to a 10-mile loop that went over the same huge hill…6 times.

I rode up the hill for 5 miles and down the other side, turned around and did it all over again in the opposite direction. By the third time I had gone up that hill the temperature was well above 90.

My spare tire floatation device was now officially an anchor, and I was already dehydrated just half way into the bike portion of the race. So by the time I rode up that hill three more times, I suspect that I was not thinking straight.

In fact I know I was not thinking straight for I remember dumping out all of my Gatorade before the run, as I actually thought it was too heavy and it might slow me down.

I’m not sure to what extent the race organizers really though through the run course, but they did manage to create an entire half marathon course without a speck of shade. Perhaps they thought it would be good training for Kona, or perhaps they thought that Colorado in June is a dry type of heat so the racers would really enjoy it.

All I remember is that somehow I got it into my head that if I drank two cups of water every mile, and these were the two ounce Dixie cups the dentist gives you to rinse, I would be fine as frog legs.

You see, I thought that I needed TWO cups and not one since it was so hot. Somehow I neglected to consider that two cups was still only about 4 ounces. What seemed to really matter to me was that I was doubling my water intake every mile.

And yes; now I understand that two times zero is still pretty much zero. I kept up this strict hydration regime for the first 6 miles. By mile 7 I was not feeling so well. In fact I was starting to get tunnel vision.

For those of you who have never experience tunnel vision, you’re missing out on a real treat. It’s just like going to an amusement park except you don’t have to wait for the ride. The very ground beneath your feet starts to buck and sway. You move this way and that, the ground swells up like and ocean waves. In fact you sort of feel like a very nauseous whirling Julia Andrews or, Marie for all you fans, in the opening scenes from the sound of music.

Except in my case the hills were only alive with the sound of about a million bees. It seems that the dirt road, or was it a race course, it was hard to recall, had taken me into the Bee family reunion. And boy was this a big Bee family.

Thousands of Bees buzzed all around me as I swayed with the music. What’s worse, I was the only one on the course as I had been passed by most of the other racers a long time ago.

Somehow I managed to make it through the Bees and found a solitary tree. I sat down under it on the lonely dirt road and contemplated my next more. I was three miles from the finish line and about 7 hours into the race at this point. I vaguely recall seeing a medic as he drove by and asked me if I was all right.

The next thing I remember was being in the ambulance with a saline drip in my arm. The world had stopped dancing, and somebody had turned up the air to max. I felt hot and cold at the same time.

My race was over and I had my first DNF ever. I should have heeded his warning for Dog is my co-pilot. Or is it the other way around?

Does your fireplace burn gas or wood?

We have a gas fireplace at home. Here in Boulder, like some other places around the country, they don’t allow a traditional fireplace. A real or traditional fireplace creates too much pollution.

Our old apartment, which was built about 20-years-ago had a real fireplace, as did our old, old apartment in Prague (which was built 400-years-ago), in the Czech Republic.

I really miss the real fireplace. There is just so much life missing from the gas fireplace. And by life, I mean that thing that makes a warm home and hearth. Sure our gas fireplace provides warmth and light like a real fireplace does. But it does it at the flick of switch. There is no work, no preparation, and no clean up required.

More importantly there is also none of the magic that warms not only your body but also your heart. A real fire lives and dies. It dances on the wood, making it crackle, pop, fizz and explode. It burns and smokes, and thus also smells of that bitter sweat tart ash that only once living plants can create, as they turn from life to ash.

And that ash fills your nostrils with a gentle reminder of life, as you sweep it up the next day. It reminds you of the fire, the warmth and the happiness that just the night before danced before your eyes.

On the other hand, a gas fireplace just flicks out of existence with the click of an electric switch. It leaves behind very little…perhaps only a fleeting memory of itself and some residual warmth.

Unfortunately all too often, especially in American, life can become like a gas fireplace. It has all the convenience, but none of the crackle, pop and fizz that makes a real fire so much better.

This may seem strange, but the gas fireplace is the reason why I swim, bike and run.

Let me explain. In the early nineties my wife and moved to Prague in the Czech Republic. She was offered a temporary transfer with her company to help build the business in Eastern Europe.

I was born in Prague, but I grew up in Chicago, so I thought it would be a great chance for both of us to learn about my Czech heritage, and travel Europe a bit.

The Czech Republic had just gone from being communist, under the control of the Soviets, to capitalist. This political process was called the Velvet Revolution, as you may recall, since not a single shot was fired.

Anyway, when we moved to Prague, it was like taking huge 40-year step back in time. The communist had not improved much during their rule. The country and city were falling apart from years of neglect. There were no big box retail stores, let alone well-stocked grocery stores. Since the country had been communist for so long, all the retail stores were empty. Sure you could buy a jar of pickles, and some bread, and a slice of questionable ham, and a bottle of warm beer, but that was about it.

Under the communist the restaurants were strictly controlled. This meant that they had to have an approved menu and each item on that menu had to be severed in exact portions as approved by the government. This also meant that all the restaurants severed the same poorly made fatty Czech food in the same crappy portions.

Italian restaurant were considered exotic, and don’t even think about Chinese or Mexican food. For instance, when you ordered a coke, which initially they did not have, you got this local brew called Africola (and don’t even go there) to an exact line on your glass…not a deciliter more or less.

Just preparing a healthy meal became a week long quest. Finding a new restaurant that severed something other than fatty pork, dumplings and sauerkraut was like finding a diamond on the street. For the first few months in Prague, the healthiest meal I regularly ate was a burger and fries from Macdonald’s.

The only “health” club was halfway around town on the top floor of the Forum Hotel. This was one of the best communist hotel in the city. This “health” club tended to cater to the fat old Czech communist party members and the Russian Mafia types, so thick gold chains around the neck were required. Their dress code include Adidas shower shoes, fluffy bathrobes to cover big fluffy and hairy bellies. And their workouts consisted of a rousing jump in the pool, followed by a dash into the Sauna, followed by a cigarette and whisky.

So it was not uncommon for me to run on the treadmill and use the few old weight machines they had while second hand smoking a pack or two of the local tabak.

But here’s an interesting thing I learned those first few months in 1991 in Prague. After a day of working, hunting down something reasonably healthy to eat, and perhaps getting just 1 of the 1000 to do things done on my list, I felt completely alive and satisfied.

Everything was difficult and a challenging, from finding something basic like a light bulb to something more exotic like a chicken breast that didn’t come with the rest of the chicken. I had a friend who would drive to Germany once a month just to buy diet coke. Go Figure! But the fact that everything was challenging, also made the small victories that much more sweet.

In America we can get whatever we want, at whatever time we want, at the lowest possible cost in terms of money and effort. We can go through the day and at the drop of a hat and get anything we need or could want for a normal life. There is no more hunting and gathering. Just drive up and order.

And just like a gas fireplace, this type of day is a reasonable copy of the real thing…but it is not. It is missing the crackle, pop, and fizz of the fire. It comes without effort. And it’s missing the challenge and thus the reward. Its missing the dancing fire, the magic, and the ashes of life, as we all slowly burn you up.

And that is why I swim, bike and run.

Taking on Kona and Diabetes

When he’s not running his company, or building Mattresses, Dick Sumerfield can usually be seem running through the neighborhood or biking to work or swimming over his lunch.

You see, Dick’s work, as the head of the Colorado Verlo Mattress Factory is to make sure that you have a comfortable nights sleep.

But Dick's other passion is the sport of triathlon. He’s been a serious triathlete for over 25 years. But it wasn’t until his thirties that Dick did something that very few of us would even consider doing. Dick became an Ironman, but he did it with the help of a powerful performance-enhancing drug.

And no, it’s not what you think. Dick is not only an Ironman, but he’s also a diabetic and the performance-enhancing drug is insulin.

For many people the though of going some 144 miles in one day in an Ironman seems like a receipt for disaster. But image doing it while checking your blood sugar and maintaining a steady diet to keep from going into a possible life threatening insulin shock.

And image doing it at not just any Ironman but the worlds championships in Kona. Dick made it in a time most experienced racers would envy. It only took 26 GU’s on the run after he lost his lancet to check his blood sugar.

I recently had a chance to discuss this with Dick as well as what’s it’s like to take on Kona and Diabetes.

Before you listen to the interview please visit my newest podcast sponsor…Fitbeats.com. This is a terrific company that provides fitness mp3s to take your workouts to the next level.

This is the 15th Everyman Triathlon Endurance Podcast. There are several ways to subscribe to the show. You can click on the link below and use Yahoo.com.

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MP3 File

And The Answer Is….Rubber Bands

Last time I asked the question (See Post Below): what other thing do pros do to their bike shoes that makes it easier for them to mount their bikes and put on their shoes at the same time?

Marc got it right with the very first comment;

“Roman - are you talking about using rubber bands on the shoes to keep them sitting horizontal while you are getting on the bike?”

The photos on the left illustrate the problem, the solution, and what happens when you try to illustrate your point with a curious dog in the house.

The top photo illustrates the problem I described in my previous post. If you just clip your shoes to your bike. They tend to flop down making it almost impossible to jump on the bike and slip your feet into the shoes…unless you are professional Russian trained contortionist, and you can bend your foot completely backwards, while balancing on the bike, drinking, opening a GU packet, and waving to your friends.

The second photo shows what happens when you take a rubber band and place it around the shoe and around the bracket that holds the back wheel in place. The rubber band keeps the shoe flat, so that you can just jump on the bike and slip your foot into the shoe. Once you are in, you just start to peddle. The rubber band breaks, and you are good to go.

The third photo shows what happens when you have a curious dog, and you decide to be very clever, and take some photos in the house, to add to your web site, to illustrate a point.

So congratulations Marc! You have won the prize; a cool Boulder, Colorado Century Ride hat. Please just send me an email with your address and I will send you the hat.

A word of caution: I have only tried this technique once in a race. It was during a sprint triathlon, and as I recall my first transition (or pit stop as I like to say) was something like 33 seconds. However the only thing that kept me from crashing, as I tried to get my feet in the shoes, was the fact that there was a substantial downhill coming out of the bike exit.

If it had not been for that downhill, I’m sure I would have crashed and burned. Please trust me, this is not something that Newbies want to try in their first race. Any time saved in transition will be lost in the medical tent. And God help you if you encounter any curious dogs.

Finally, last time I asked what’s the one piece of triathlon gear that defines the sport of triathlon? My answer was the wet suit. But I have to agree with Rice when he wrote:

“I have been thinking about this post since yesterday. And I do not think there is any one piece of gear that defines the triathlon. I think what would best define the Triathlon is the fortitude of the heart and sole.

For a Triathlete to train and compete in all three disciplines. To adapt the body to be able swim bike and run back to back to back. And then to finish an Iron distance, which science would say is metabolically impossible… Yeah I would have to say that’s why I love the idea of triathlon. Because its not about the bike, its not about the shoes and its not about the swimsuit. Its about you, and you can not rely on one piece of gear to get you through but your heart and sole.”

Well said!

Guess

What’s the one piece of triathlon gear that defines the sport of triathlon?

You know what I mean.

In running it would be the shoes.

In cycling it would be the bike.

In swimming it would be the swimsuit.

Duh!

But what is it for the sport of triathlon? What one bit of gear is unique to the sport in such a way that it defines the triathlon? And we know that it can’t be the shoes, the bike or the swimsuit.

Here are a few possibilities that you may consider but that I would eventually rule out:

The triathlon specific bike. The problem with this is that a tri bike is basically a time trial bike or a TT bike. And a TT bike is something that triathletes borrowed from professional cycling.

Yes, you could argue that a tri specific bike like a Guru or Quintana Roo is something that is unique to triathlon. (By the way the previous sentence contained a pretty good hint to my answer to this question) But really the only thing that makes these bikes different from a cycling TT bike is their possible Hawaiian paint scheme. So that rules out the triathlon specific bike.

Let’s try something completely different. How about those elastic shoelaces called lock laces. You know the show laces that you don’t have to tie. These are certainly something that is pretty unique to triathlon as runners don’t really need these laces since they never transition.

I don’t know about you but I would really hate to have an entire sport defined by a shoelace…no matter how clever or cool it may be.

And speaking of footwear, here’s another suggestion. The triathlon bike shoe. For those of you new to the sport you may not realize that professional triathletes wear tri specific shoes. The difference in these bike shoes is that they tend to have a easy Velcro closing strap that close the opposite way from a traditional bike shoe, as well as a fabric hook on the top part of the heal. The reason for these two changes is that it makes the shoes easier to put on and strap shut while on the bike.

Most pros will have their bike shoes already attached to the pedals, and just jump into the shoe as they jump onto the bike. If you have not done this I would suggest that you practice it a few times before you try it in a race. There is one more trick of the trade that you need to know before you attempt this.

So for extra bonus points, plus this nifty never worn Buffalo Bicycle Classic Hat with the word century prominently displayed on the brim, tell me what this trick is. I will mail this hat (within the USA only please) to the first person to comment (below) with the correct answer to the question.

That prize question being; what other thing do pros do to their bike shoes that makes it easier for them to mount their bikes and put on their shoes at the same time? And no, the answer I’m looking for is not put any kind of lubricant in the shoes, even though this is something that pros also do.

I will announce the winner on Friday, so you have a few days to ponder the possible answers.

In the meantime, I’ll give you a hint.

Clip your shoes onto your bike, and try running and jumping on the bike, and you’ll see the problem I’m getting at right away. What I want to know (for the grand prize hat) is what’s the problem, and what’s the solution?

Now back to the first question: What one bit of gear is unique to the sport of triathlon in such a way that it defines the triathlon?

So while triathlon specific bike shoes may be unique, I don’t think that they come close to defining the sport.

So let’s move on.

How about that pretty new and funky Aqua Sphere Seal Mask that so many triathletes seem to favor on the swim? I know that in my masters class the swimmers wouldn’t be caught dead wearing this mask and yet the triathletes really seem to like the better 180 degree visibility that it offers.

Which, when you think about, it is really strange as most of my races seem to be in lakes or other bodies of water that are so murky I can barely see my arms, let alone my hands as I swim.

On the other hand, when I swim in the crystal clear pool, I’m always in some crowded lane that just begs for good visibility to avoid head on collisions. But it seems to me that most true swimmers only care about that black line that runs down the center of the pool, and to see this they don’t really need to see to the side.

So the long answer is that I’m not all that keen on the look of that mask, and I would really hate to define the sport by some bit of gear that the creature from the Black Lagoon would feel embarrassed to wear.

Moving on again; how about that funky water bottle that fits between the aero bars? This is something that I’m sure the Discovery Team Boys would be loathed to use. It is also something that is very specific to triathlon, as I've never seen it used by the casual bike rider.

But once again, it would be a pretty lame sport if a misshapen hunk of plastic defined it.

So how about the triathlon crop top? A man bra as so many people have called it. I don’t think so!

So in my book that only leaves one piece of gear that is truly cool and specific to triathlon. It is the one bit of gear that I think of when I picture the triathlon in my head. I suppose this is because it has become synonymous with the start of the race.

It is also something that while used by other sports has been completely redesigned for triathlon.

Have you figured it out yet?

It is something (to get back to the initial hint) that was pioneered by Quintana Roo. It is something that most newbies don’t have, but will have to purchase once they get serious about the sport. Which is also a great reason that it defines the sport.

It is….the wetsuit?

Did you guess it?

Am I right?

An Open Letter To Triathletes

Triathletes, now that we have established that cycling is mind-blowing old fashion and totally irrelevant, we’ll need something else to fill the void. So without any further delay here are a few ideas that I think you’ll like to take the place of the bike.

1) The Chariot: Call me old fashioned, but who can resist the thrill of a Sunday morning chariot ride. The wind in your hair, the wooden wheels as they bounce over the road, the tart smell of sweaty and flatulent horse butt. Yes this is a form of ancient transportation that will still make your fillings fall out. And best of all the Roman’s proved chariot racing to be a real sport.

I’m sure we all recall the heroic scenes from the movie Ben Hur as Charlton Heston fought with his chariot around a tight oval track. Think of it as Nascar without the beer and somewhat less horsepower. But what a way to exit the water.

There are of course certain possible downsides to the chariot. I could potentially be somewhat difficult to coax the horse on top of the car. I also have to be honest and admit that I don’t know how you would secure the beast once you got it up on the roof rack. But I’ll leave that to Thule to sort out.

Another possible downside might be seen by apartment and/or condo dwellers. I’m not sure what the HOA rules are, but I’m pretty certain a horse does not meet the pet HOA exemption.

Unless of course it is a mini horse, which might be considered a big dog given longer fake ears and a perkier tail. This would also necessitate the down sizing of the chariot, but on the up side it would certainly give new meaning to the Clydesdale division…especially if triathletes with big country homes and vast acreage actually used Clydesdales to pull their chariots.

2) The Segway: While the bike is certainly an outdated form of transportation, the Segway is brand new and exciting. And just like the bike it requires skill to ride…and it has two wheels. I would also image that it could be attached to the roof of car without using a carrot or apple as an incentive.

Furthermore the Segway can be pimped. I understand how much all of you like to have that special and unique bike and a horse really can’t be pimped without expensive genetic modifications. I mean maybe you could cross a horse with a snake to get that cool lowered look but I’m not really sure how well it would run.

However a Segway can easily be pimped. I can just imagine the countless modifications.

- Spinners on the wheels that just keep spinning long after you have stopped.
- Cool blue lights that illuminate the bottom of the machine for those dark early morning starts.
- Curb feelers and fuzzy dice hung from the handlebars.
- Air bags that raise and lower the Segway and/or make it jump.
- A classic painting on the side of a wolf howling at the moon.
- Stickers that proclaim, “If this Segway is not rocking don’t bother knocking: just mount up.”
- Huge wheels and a huge battery for that ultimate Segway crushing, curb jumping, wheeling making Big Toe…as it would naturally be called.
- Modifications to the battery pack that make it buzz really loudly.
- Satellite Radio and DVD player for the longer races or just to entertain the kids on the side of the course.
- Blooth, would be the Segway version of Blue Tooth connectivity for the cell phones.

The potential list is endless, and unlike the bike, you could actually form a bad ass posse of Segee riders. Think of Marlon Brando in the wild ones without all that needless motorcycle noise and exhaust smoke.

3) The Rascal: This powered wheel chair might be slow, but as our country is quickly aging it would be a great way to keep the growing number of us elderly triathletes in the sport. Plus just like the Segway, the Rascal can be pimped with chrome, leather tassels from the handlebars and leather side bags for the much needed race adult diapers, race denture cream and the Costco sized bottle of Viagra for any wild after race parties.

4) The Big Wheel: Do you remember how much fun you had on the big wheel? Well image no more as you sprint out of the water, tear off your wetsuit and mount your big wheel. It will be just like being a kid again except this time your mother won’t tell you to slow down as you zoom down the big hills.

The potential drawbacks include early leg cramps from trying to fit onto the Big Wheel and the questionable long-term reliably of the plastic wheels. But with a little judicious use of your leg power (you’d have to try not to spin the drive wheel) this problem can be solved.

So there you have it, four great ideas for a better and vastly improved triathlon.

But truth be told, (and if you read my previous open letter to cyclists) the best solution is right before your eyes. I am of course referring to the automobile. The advantages are many, as I have pointed out. So I humbly suggest that we replace the bike with the car. This way you have one less thing to bring to your next race.

But while we are it, why stop with the bike? I have done some long hard deep thinking about this, and I would suggest that we complete change the current triathlon format.

Instead of Swim, Bike Run…

Drum roll please…

Drive, Eat, Nap!

Not only does this new format lend itself to the more typical American lifestyle, but it is also certainly sure to capture a wider following. I mean just consider your next brick workout, and I think you’ll see the advantages right away.

An Open Letter to Cyclists

Dear Cyclist

First of all I want to let you know how much I admire you for sticking with such an old and antiquated way of transportation. You deserve a huge round of applause for still doing something invented several hundred years ago and sticking with it through thick and thin, through rain and shine. And I mean that literally…through rain and shine.

You guys are all OK in my book for clinging to something that became old school (and by old school read old and completely irrelevant) the day Ford drove the first Model T out the doors of his shinny new factory.

Cycling is mind-blowing old fashioned and totally irrelevant

Consider some of the things that make driving a car a real pleasure. You get to see beautiful terrain. You’re going somewhere. You can use it both for entertainment and as a practical means of conveyance. You can talk with your friends while you’re doing it. The variety of the terrain means that you get interesting new challenges on a moment-by-moment basis. And perhaps most importantly, you don’t get wet, or tired, or hungry, or frozen, or run over, or stung, or sunburned, or sore, or wind blasted, or monkey butt doing it.

Here on the other hand are some things that can be said about cycling:

- Shaving: You need to shave your legs and/or perhaps your entire body. I’m really not sure how or why this stated, but it now seems to be required for anybody serious about his or her bike. I’m surprised they just don’t build a razor into the bike. That way you could use it to shave before you go out for a ride. It would at least be something new and innovative to come along to cycling in over a century.

- Two wheels: The modern bike is the technological equivalent of an outhouse. In technology terms, it is in essence the same as a hole in the ground and a bucket of warm water…so favored in the ancient cultures of this world. The bike has not changed since the first person crashed on it a few hundred years ago.

Those first bikes had two wheels, handlebars, a seat and pedals. Let’s see…surprise…today’s “modern” bikes have two wheels, handlebars, a seat and pedals. They can send a man to the moon, but they figure out a better bike.

- Bike Lust: What is it with you cyclist and bike porn. I know that you spend long hours on the bike with your genitals rubbing the thing constantly, but for heavens’ sake enough with the bike porn already. Instead of getting all hot and bothered by aluminum, and carbon fiber, why don’t you just turn to rubber and latex like the rest of us?

- Steroids: I can’t think of any other poster child better suited for ramped steroid use than cycling. Is it something about sitting on a hard bit of leather for hours on end that makes you want to stick a needle in your ass?

I was watching the discovery team during the tour and they have their own chef. His specialties are lovingly prepared meals that contain the freshest ingredients, in the perfect portions, seasoned with just the right amount of performance enhancing drugs. Yummy!

- Helmets: So I was also watching the IMAX movie called Wired to Win this weekend. It was produced by a group of brain surgeons. They followed a pro cycling team (I would tell you which one but I can barely pronounce the name, let alone spell it) as they prepared for the Tour De France a few years ago.

One of the very first scenes was of the team practicing how to take a high speed turn over and over again. Apparently somebody forgot to tell them that the movie was being produced by brain docs, as they couldn’t be bothered to wear their helmets going around a sharp downhill turn at breakneck speeds.

Here’s a suggestion for the team chef, instead of performance enhancing drugs, load up their next spaghetti meal with brain enhancing drugs.

- Two Words: Bob Roll

- Two More Words: Monkey Butt

- Two More Words: Monkey Balls (Ok, I’m not really sure if monkey's get sore balls, but cyclists certainly do)

- Two More Words: Lance Armstrong: Has this dude not had his 15 minutes of fame and then some. I’m getting a bit tired of hearing about him. He’s becoming like Bono from U2, just a bad media parody of himself. Lance, we get it, got it and, have it already, and so do you...so please let somebody else have the spotlight now.

- Two More Words: Sheryl Crow: Ditto

- Cyclist Body: Have you seen the ideal cyclist body? That would be a beanpole withered top part with two huge and massive stumps for legs...which, by the way, won’t fit into a normal pair of jeans. Now that’s a sexy look to be sure. And you don’t even want to know what happens to the manly bits after a season of steroid use. Just one more word: raspberries.

- Time: I’m don’t know about you but it takes hours to get anywhere on a bike. And when you get there you can’t really carry anything back. Just get in your car, or grab a bus, train or plain and you’ll actually get somewhere.

Cycling is not a sport

I hate to break it to all of you but cycling is not a sport. It is a completely outdated form of transportation. Sure at one point in time it might have been a practical way to get around. But today, in a world full of cars, you are just asking for trouble when you get on a bike. So why not get in a car? Not only will you get to your destination faster, but you’ll do it in comfort and warmth, with your favorite music playing on the radio.

If it starts to rain or snow, just turn on your wipers. If it gets hot or cold, just switch on the automatic climate control. If it gets dark, switch on your headlights. If you get hungry, drive through the nearest fast food joint.

Why would you ever want to ride a bike? What’s the point?

Some of you will no doubt say that it is good exercise. And you are of course correct. Sure it good exercise, unless you get hit by a car, or crash, or fall down a hill, or catch pneumonia, or get stung by a bee, or get a flat, or break a leg. At which point your exercise has just turned into a very long and painful recovery period. I suppose you can get some exercise jumping around on crutches, but wouldn’t it be easier to just run or swim, and avoid the bike all together?

Moveon.org

Which brings me to something that I’m sure you all must suspect by now. Since cycling is really not a worthy sport, but just something the French do to make themselves feel manly, I fear the time has come to moveon.org.

Yes, as much as I hate to do this, we’ll need to eliminate cycling from the triathlon. It had to happen sooner or latter, so why not make it sooner before we all end up with a ragging case of monkey butt.

Please come back tomorrow, when I’ll share with you the newer and better sport of triathlon…sans cycling.