The other day, while my back was turned and I was asking the sales clerk a question, a small round man absconded with my shopping cart. He just grabbed it and scurried away like a fat hungry weasel with a juicy chicken. So for all the fat hungry weasels in the world, here are Triathlon's Top 15 tips of Important Training Etiquette.
You can read Part 1 HERE
7) If you don’t know how to draft, then don’t draft.
Drafting and bike handling are skills that take time and effort to learn. Don’t just jump on my back wheel on a whim because I happen to be a big guy, and I easily break the wind (or perhaps just break wind). You never know….do you?
Because if you get it wrong we will both pay the price. If you want to draft, just ask.
6) Help others cyclist by the side of the road.
We are a small band of fellow riders compared with the big world of cars and trucks. If you can help fix a flat or supply a spare air canister to a fellow cyclist you’ll be earning some big karma points. Because you know that one-day that will be you sitting on the side of the road.
5) Ride single file.
For some reason people driving cars a hell bent to kill a cyclist. Don’t give them a reason to hate us even more.
4) Lazy Weasel Drivers.
The next time you feel the need to pass leaving me with about two millimeters to spare, I hope you get an extended visit from tiny, horny and extremely itchy butt worms. I hope these hell bent butt mites set-up a homestead in your rectum and breed and multiply, like bunnies on a sunny and grassy knoll in springtime.
3) There is passing on the track.
Keep to the outside lane on track when you are running slow or walking. For all you drivers out there this may seem like a strange and foreign concept (I know you like to drive in the left lane at 55 with you turn signal on) but on the track let the faster runners pass on the inside lane.
2) Dogs like to sniff in the funniest places.
If you have a dog, please keep it under control. While I love dogs, I would prefer to take it out to dinner and movie or two before we really get to know each other that well.
1) Dogs like to sniff in the funniest places.
If you don’t have a dog please don’t get too mad. While I try to keep my dog under control sometimes it will just jump the gun and go for what human might consider an in appropriate sniff. I truly apologize and I hope you understand that this is not something I encourage or do without a dinner and movie.
Bonus Point of Etiquette
Just say "Hi"
I like to acknowledge my fellow runners with a “Hey” or a “Hi” when I’m out on the trials. After all running is such a solitary sport most of the time. So unless you are really seriously training to win the Boston marathon just say “Hi” back.
I understand that you are serious about your running, but you can say “Hi” back because I doubt you’ll won’t win the Boston marathon at a ten minute pace. And if you are a bit out of shape you won’t have a heart attack by uttering the word “Hi’ back to me...plus you'll make my day and put a huge smile on my face.