You guys are great. I almost peed my pants when I read your comments to Dumb uck car ucks. (Just scroll down to see the original story if you have not read it yet.) It seems that this is something we all struggle with on a daily basis.
Here are the very funny and very clever comments from the best bunch of Blog readers this side of slowtwitch.com
From Iron Pol:
Here are a few I love (some aren't quite car types, but you get the idea):
1. The "Revving Ranger" type idiot who finds great pleasure in dropping into neutral and revving his engine as loudly as possible (most commonly performed by motorcycle riders). You'd think they'd understand the risks, since they are likewise "unprotected."
2. The "Lexus Launchpad" type who sees humor in launching projectiles (typically trash) towards bikers and runners. I particularly like these, especially when I get their license plate numbers for my police officer neighbor.
Finally, an addition to your barking dog sections could be the "barking non-dog." That would include those who, like dogs, seem to enjoy the wind in their face as they stick their heads out to yell things at you. My favorite was an idiot who yelled for me to pop a wheelie (while they nearly ran me off the road). My S25 isn't made for either wheelies or off-roading.
I popped a wheelie once. It was during a long ride when I ran over a just launched water bottle rocket. Luckily the bottle top popped open and I stayed on my bike. Sometimes we cyclist uck ourselves.
From KenyonTri:
My favorite is the pickup bed full of hicks uck, who upon passing you, slow down to your speed while hucking empty beer cans at you for the better part of 2 miles until they reach their trailer park.
Ah yes, the tell tail sign of the dumb uck trailer park pig uckers.
From Stronger:
I bought a 'd'.
Yea there’s nothing worse than those dumb duck car ducks! I hate when they pass you and quack up a storm with that little sneer across their cigarette stained duck bills. I especially hate the ones who wear bandanas with that gun sight tattoo aimed at the just washed car proudly displayed on their wings.
From Myles:
How about those car driving dumb uck screaming teenager ucks who scream some incoherent noise at you as they pass by and then look back to see if you are looking at them. “Oooh look at me, I can vocalize loudly and incoherently just like any number of organisms possessing vocal chords and minimal intelligence and when I do, people look at me…horky dorky hork hork”
These guys are almost as bad as the dumb duck car ducks.
From Bolder:
d'amnit! stronger bought the 'd'.
ok, i'll take an 'f' for $50 then Jack.
i hate the ucking uckheads that drive by me on a country road in pick up trucks that yell 'get in a bike lane uckhead'... do they actually think it's illegal to ride a bike on the road when not in a bike lane?
I’d like to point out to Bolder that the “Y” is still available for purchase.
From tarheeltri:
So, what you guys are saying is that those kids are not shouting words of encouragement to me?
Seriously, how about riding by a lake and nearly getting hooked by the trailer of a monster ucking boat behind a monster truck you had no idea was toting that monster boat in the first place!
You got a double idiot tarheeltri. He was a dumb uck car & boat uck! Good thing you weren’t swimming open water that day.
From Marc:
I really hate those ucking deer and other wild critters - I mean, who do they think they are, crossing my bike path so unexpectedly? Especially the ucking squirrels - darting back and forth, unable to make up thier feeble ucking minds - run over one of them at 21mph and see what happens. And the ucking snakes - especially the rattlers and mocassins - this is Florida after all - are they gonna move or just lie there, across the trail sunning themsleves - oh, and then the dumb-a$$ ucking people who stop and look at them - hey, dumb-a$$, ever try out running a rattle snake - ain't gonna happen ya stupid idiot....don't stop and block up the trail ya moron! ahh, thanks Roman, I needed that....
I was riding my usual mountain bike loop the other day when I almost ran over a rattle snake. It was just lying in the middle of the path sunning itself. What an inconsiderate dumb ucking sunning snake uck!
From Vicky:
It's bad enough being startled by people who honk or yell, but how about the dumb ucks who yell comments about your butt/boobs or hoop and holler promises of sexual gratification? They've seen "Thelma and Louise" right? I don't carry weapons, so I can't blow up their trucks, but I do have numerous CO2 cartridges with which to freeze their nuggets off. They never seem to want to stop and follow through on their comments though.
Ouch! Frozen nuggets would certainly get my attention. You go girl!
From Jill:
I hate the dumb ucks who never look to see if someone is on the sidewalk or in the crosswalk before turning and either run into you or cause you to run into them. Then they roll down the window and apologize for not seeing you. Use your ucking eyes you dumb uck!!
I also hate the dumb ucks who drive diesels and think it is fun to slow way down, then as soon as they pass they rev the engine and engulf you in a cloud of black exhaust fumes. ucking rednecks!
And last, but not least, I really like it when the ucking dumb ucks throw a fist full of change at you. That ucking hurts you mother ucker!!
They better be throwing silver dollars my way. I couldn’t be bothered to stop and pick-up anything smaller.
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