I suspect the only reason I get so much SPAM is that there are those among us who actually open these messages and bite. Why else would the SPAMMERS devote so much time and energy, if not for a substantial return on their investment.
So to help make SPAMMING less profitable, here are a few helpful suggestions. These first few are meant for all you gentlemen.
1) There is absolutely no way men, outside of surgery, to lengthen any part of your anatomy. There are no pills, no creams, no ointments, no lotions or potions that will enhance your length in any way what so ever.
I was recently watching a Three Stooges episode with my son where the boys concocted a youth potion from all sorts of crazy pills, powders, bubbling waters and strange animal parts. They mixed all this stuff together and when they tried it on Curly, he exploded. Image the boys mixing up your enhancement cream next time you are even considering opening one of these emails.
There is only one thing in this world that I know will increase your manhood with women. It is a bank account with lots of zeros.
2) There are no bored and eager housewives and/or 19-year-old French nannies just waiting for your call. The housewives have enough trouble with their husbands and the French nannies are looking for hot 19-year-old boys with their own cars.
The only thing waiting for you at the other end of that email is a possibly a professional who’ll prefer cash or a high limit credit card.
3) There are no rich, or dethroned, or oppressed Nigerians who need your help to transfer large sums of money into your bank account. There certainly are Nigerians who need your help, but this help entails transferring your money into their bank accounts.
Please stop falling for this old and lame ploy or variation thereof. If you want to lose your money do it the same way that most elderly Americans do…in Las Vegas playing 4 nickel slot machines at the same time.
4) Your bank, or Paypal, or your money manager will never send you an email asking for your social security number, or your ATM card number, or your password, or your login, or your pet’s name.
A fat middle-aged, chain-smoking, vodka-drinking, brothel-visiting Russia holed up in a dingy apartment will. And if you want to keep him in borscht, smokes, vodka and skanky chicks, than just click on that email link and have at it.
5) There is no such thing as a cheap and reputable Internet pharmacy. You can have cheap, or you can have reputable, but not both. So you if you want the Three Stooges mixing up you next batch of heart or boner medicine, go ahead and click on that link, and you’ll certainly get what you paid for.
6) Have you heard about the newest and hottest small cap stock? This small but up and coming company has the exclusive right to all the tolls on the Brooklyn Bridge.
Co: Brooklyn Users Transport Terminal Headquarters.
Sym: BUTT HEAD
A Massive PR Campaign is Underway for Monday and all next week!! Starting at only 2 cents the Gains will be tremendous!! Tuesday this one is going to Explode!!!
You better invest today because you’ll only get another 1000 of these chances in the next week.
7) Did you know that on the NBC today show they said that: South Africa's Kalahari Desert is home to what could be the answer to ravenous appetite. It's a cactus called hoodia. "You strip off the skin, you strip off the spines, and then you consume it," says weight loss expert Madelyn Fernstrom.
Who would have though that the South Africans have the answer to your weight problem? The irony here is that they indeed have the answer and it is called poverty. And they’ll be happy to share it with by relieving you of your excess money by just a click of the mouse.
8) Did you know that your home’s equity will finance the dept of a small third world country. I bet that probably came as a surprise to you since you are renting. Never-mind that fact. Just click on the link and convert that hard-earned equity into easy-earned dept. That Harley that you’ve always wanted can be yours today for just 30-years of monthly payments.
9) Are most good jobs not within your reach? That's probably because you lack a post -graduate education. We can fix that ;) Wink Wink Wink!
I’m sure your next employer will be impressed with your diploma from Saint Bogus University of unvirgin Mary. Because you know that most companies today have a Human Resource department that has never seen one of these wink wink diplomas.
You might however get a job with the Three Stooges, but last time I checked they were all retired.